


The Ghoul, the Dove and the Dog

by willy-o-the-wisp (bluekupkakez)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anal Sex, Come Eating, Dirty Talk, Embarrassing Situations, Enthusiastic Consent, Frottage, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Slow Build, Some Cursing, Some Fluff, Tattoo Kink, Voice Kink, blindfolding, corny nicknames, failed cooking, hardcore trolling, headcanons, light kagune bondage, mentions of tsukikane, truce AU, utake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-06-07 16:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6812854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluekupkakez/pseuds/willy-o-the-wisp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No Face takes interest in a certain investigator.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wish Tree

**Author's Note:**

> truce AU with none of the V mess. has this been done before? no clue. enjoy :D
> 
> beta’d by penguins_shake_it <3

The branches bobbed above his bench, low and creaking. Take inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the vague scent of damp concrete and fading blossoms. He let the night chill clear his mind, pump some energy back into his sore limbs. His gaze trailed upwards, weary.

The final clusters of petals were constantly disintegrating, the promise of future fruit and a thin sheet on the ground all they left behind. A few pale dots floated down, landing on his cheeks and forehead. He welcomed them, tempted to close his eyes, soak up their soft, airy coolness and let the drone of the city wash over him…A luxury he still couldn’t afford, despite the Truce.

He shifted and the floral remains slid down along the plain coat he was swathed in. The quiet crunches by his feet reminded him that Ryuu was far from done with the stick he’d been so eager to retrieve earlier. The investigator leaned over to pat the fox-like head and scratch the spot behind a pricked ear.

A calm, ideal night - just the two of them and their old acquaintance, the apple tree. Take’s lips curved faintly. No more noisy throngs of flower-gawkers; no blind chases and filthy alleys, at least for tonight.

He should’ve listened to his grandparents instead of chasing after the mirage of a meaningful job. It wasn’t too late, though. Might as well change his job;  become a walking and breathing stereotype, since he was halfway there already. The CCG guy nobody looked at twice - or even once, if he happened to be in the company of some of the organization’s celebrities. Just a few steps and he’d be the lonely, invisible accountant or technician. With some luck, he could even sport thick glasses, a beer belly and a balding head.

Dull work? Definitely. But it had its perks. Unpaid overtime couldn’t possibly include editing jokes out of Kuramoto’s reports and getting covered in various unsavory substances. Besides, tools and numbers didn’t bite people or require radical methods to be stopped when they ran amok.

A single petal spiraled down slowly. He caught it midair, wishing-

“They kinda look like tiny, faded tanzaku*, hmm?”

Take’s head jerked to the left. He jumped to his feet, serenity shattered to pieces. He yanked Ryuu away, and the dog dropped the piece of wood with a startled yelp. His free hand dived instinctively into a special pocket to pull out his quinque knife. He held it before him, tip pointed towards the threat.

Because this was a threat.

A hood, a different mask. Same quiet, raspy voice and snake-smooth manners. Hirako had dealt with those on too many unfortunate, always memorable occasions. Of all the ghouls…

_No damn Face._

The bane of CCG patrols and Hirako’s squad. Slouching on the other end of the bench as if he’d been there since once upon a time, when the thing had been set in the park. And Take hadn’t heard or felt a thing. Neither had Ryuu, apparently, who was sniffing the intruder from afar.

“White’s a little dull on its own, if you ask me,” No Face spoke again. “But it suits trees. Better than you Doves, anyway.”

 _Nobody asked you._ Hirako quickly put the bench between them and the predator.

“So eager to shed blood on such a beautiful night.” The other turned to face them, elbows planted on the backrest, hidden chin resting on gloved palms. “Why, Hirako-san, I hadn’t pegged you for one of their zealots.”

Did he always chat with potential meals? No Face seemed to be operating solo, as usual; bored enough to leave the fourth ward he was haunting like a corporeal poltergeist. A chance meeting while hunting or indulging in his offensive hobbies?

_Just my luck._

Your average ghoul registered for monthly ratios of Rc cells shakes and pills, got a decent job and minded their own business, or at least stayed under CCG’s radar. Unlike this blacklisted  specimen, who drew obscene graffiti on the headquarter’s walls (and windows), made prank calls and lured investigators into humiliating ambushes which sometimes involved buckets of glue, showers of feathers and encouragements to “Fly, little Doves! Be free!”. Not to mention the rotten seaweeds from last time. The ghoul’s hands might be empty tonight, but that didn’t guarantee Take and Ryuu would be spared from a few foul tricks.

Hirako scanned the area; no civilians in sight, at least. He weighed his options. _Fight?_ Out of the question, with Nagomi at home, tucked into her metal case, and his dagger inadequate against this particular opponent.

 _Flight?_ They couldn’t hope to outrun No Face, even on a good day. Turning their backs on him would be even worse than having him in front of them.

An awkward retreat, then? Until Take could call for backup. If he ever got the chance. They’d lingered too long. How foolish. Adrenaline tingled through him, as familiar as the thick cord and the knife handle in his white-knuckled grip.

He risked a step back. Two. Failed to take the third, because Ryuu had suddenly decided he wanted his stick back and tried to drag his owner forward. “Heel,” Take hissed, jerking the cord when the dog ignored him. _Such terrible timing._

The ghoul made no move. In fact he started humming, his pose still deceptively casual and inhuman gaze fixed on them. Gloating over Hirako’s predicament, probably; and the furious pounding of his heart, since no poker face could hide that.

The glowing, unreadable kakugan. The sounds muffled by that beaked monstrosity of a mask…The Dove’s skin crawled. He caught the words “hira-hira” while he attempted to shuffle backwards, a nickname as insulting as the rest of the nonsense No Face spouted on every occasion. Strangely fitting, though, with all the petals fluttering around them.

Take forced himself to stay positive. If something happened to him tonight, he’d be excused, maybe permanently, from writing heaps of paperwork nobody bothered to read. And from Arima’s endless nagging, Ui’s ranting, Mado senior’s lecherous show-me-your-quinque harassments…And from the dreadful lunches with his own grandparents, of course. The list went on and on, but that just about summed things up.

A tug alerted him that his furry companion was determined to recover what was rightfully his. The investigator glanced down at him before focusing on the predator again. Ryuu had nothing to do with his poor career choice. No Face could bathe Take and his squad in curdled strawberry milk and spoiled fish soup, but he wasn’t laying a finger on the shiba.

The dove tugged at the leash. He paused to step in front of Ryuu, shielding him with his own body when the ghoul shifted slightly. Just in case.

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around, man’s best friend protecting you?” No Face chuckled, tilting his hooded head. “I’ve always wondered, why aren’t ghouls assigned any best friends…”

The rest of his words were drowned in loud barks. Not the usual “Enemy! Stay away from my owner!”, but the enthusiastic “Let’s play!” kind. He wriggled forward, tail wagging in tune with Take’s frantic heart rate.

 _Silly, trusting Ryuu._ The investigator fought to control his disobedient pet while holding the dagger defensively.

“Still not talking to me, first class?”

 _Talking?_ Take’s gaze kept darting between his dog and the threat. He managed another strained step back.

“Ah, I see,” No Face mused. “I suppose I deserve this for getting carried away with the paint balls.” He stood slowly.

The Dove pulled harder, but Ryuu squirmed and whined in protest. “Heel. Heel!”

The animal replied with a scream - the kind of disturbing sound only a very displeased shiba inu could produce. He let out some more, for effect, alerting half the Tokyo population that he refused to cooperate.

His owner wished he could cover his ears while the highlights of his unimpressive life flicked before his eyes. Take Hirako, thirty, first class investigator. Perfectly able to subdue berserk ghouls, organize and order his squad around. Perfectly unable to train and control his own spoiled pet.

He sheathed his knife, then bent to do the unthinkable. His arms almost wrapped around twenty pounds of canine form which twisted with the force of two hundred. Ready to lift Ryuu off the ground and slight his pride.

The shiba dodged. Escaped. Take tried to grab him, but tripped over the leash coiled around his legs. The dog lunged for the bench.

The worn collar gave.

Hirako managed to recover his balance, just barely. He mentally cursed the wasted seconds he needed to free himself from the damned cord. He rushed forward, stomach clenching and carefully cultivated calm sizzling like ice in a furnace.

Ryuu was faster, though. Forget the stick, his target had been the ghoul all along. He was already jumping on No Face, curled tail fluttering happily; a behaviour normally reserved for Take himself and Kuramoto, but only if the latter brought some particularly tasty snacks.

“Ry-” The cry froze on the Dove’s lips. No Face leaned down…

_No! Don’t you fucking dare-_

…and petted the animal’s red coat.

Take became aware he’d thrown his dagger at No Face only when the weapon clattered on the pavement. Untouchable, the ghoul was already perched on a gnarled branch, high up in the apple tree. He regarded the investigator steadily through the lower set of mask holes. Ready to strike, at last?

“Thanks for the show, Hira-Hira. It was really fun to see your mother-hen side…” He vanished with the foreboding promise of “Later” and a gentle rain of withered petals.

Take stared up at tiny new leaves and groaning boughs, pulse throbbing in his throat. Ryuu kept barking and circling the trunk.

_They look nothing like tanzaku. Still…what does someone like him wish for?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tanzaku = (colorful) strips of paper people in Japan write wishes on and hang on bamboo trees every year during the Tanabata summer festival; pics/more info [here](http://en.gigazine.net/news/20090702_tanabata/) and [here on wiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanabata#Customs)
> 
> \---------  
> thanks for reading!  
> can’t promise regular updates, but there probably won’t be any terrible cliffhangers either so…  
> 


	2. Shoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Face asks the questions that matter.

Take had barely set foot inside when Ryuu jumped on his legs, whining and wagging his tail off. Mildly surprised by the excessive greeting, the investigator flipped the hallway lights on and set his metal briefcase down, locking the door and removing his shoes. He placed them inside the safety of the small cabinet, grateful that the shiba inu hadn’t learned how to open that one yet.

The man then knelt on the cold tiles to pet his companion and bask in the warmth of his dark eyes. That was when noticed the object in his mouth - something which explained the lack of barking that night and made Take’s smile falter.

Large and brown. Wet leather. Mangled laces.

He groaned. _How on earth?_ He’d taken all the right countermeasures - the box, the tall closet, the closed bedroom door. Ryuu hadn’t been that happy to see him, after all. He’d just been bragging about his catch, which happened to cost half a salary, and would be needed for the upcoming CCG ceremony.

Take reached out to rescue his valuable bit of property, but the animal only clamped his jaws harder. “Drop.”

The order didn’t stand much of a chance against Ryuu’s unhealthy fascination with footwear. Unwilling to give up his slobbery prey, the shiba bolted into the dark living room.

The Dove stood up, stumbled after him. Fumbled for the switch; pressed it; and froze.

No Face had kept his word, unlike Hirako’s pitiful hook-ups. While not exactly massive, he definitely took up a lot of space with his strange coat full of zippers, buckles and random bits of metal, and his intruding presence. Sprawled on the couch like an exotic predator, booted legs propped up on the coffee table.

It didn’t matter that they were relatively clean, or that Take didn’t particularly like the thing, an uninspiring gift from his grandparents. Those damned boots and the one wearing them had no business being there.

The ghoul deigned to lift his head - still hooded, still masked and sinister. He focused the full intensity of his scarlet irises on the investigator. “You really need to work on your authority, first class.”

Housebreaking.

A new low, even for No Face, and the perfect way to end another day wasted on the Little Mermaid case.

His pet mysteriously out of sight, Take dashed into the hallway. He snatched his briefcase and hurried back, holding on to a hint of confidence. He could corner him this time, prove his worth. With Nagomi…

And Ryuu.

Darting out of nowhere to place his furry body between them. Shielding the ghoul while decorating the shoe with teeth marks.

Hirako’s blood ran cold. _Get away from this nutcase! Do your duty and show some hostility, damn it!,_ he wanted to scream. But that would only entertain No Face. So the man willed his sweaty hand not to shake on the case handle, and his expression to display the calm he’d become so adept at faking.

“Move,” he commanded, inching closer to Ryuu.

The shiba merely growled, possessive.

“Relax, he’s fine,” the intruder drawled, his voice husky, almost soothing. “What kind of monster do you think I am?”

_The kind that breaks into people_ _’s places to taunt them and feed their most expensive pair of shoes to their dog._ Take eyed him, trying to assess his intentions and find an opening to attack past Ryuu. He wasn’t about to contemplate each dreadful moment his pet had been exposed to this trickster. “Heel.”

More growls.

“Ryuu.”

Take received a snarl, reaping what he’d sown for his overly lenient dog training. 

“Ah, so that’s his name,” No Face made another unwelcome comment. “He’s fiercer than he seems, then? Just like his owner. Will he roar and spit out flames if I turn my back on him?”

Why the fuck did he care about Hirako and his dull life? Of course it was a stupid name, fit for a stupid dog who thought that chewing Take’s shoe was a delight worth risking his life for; the result of his attachment to a squeaky dragon plushie as a puppy and the man’s lack of creativity.

The intruder shrugged at his hostile silence and resumed what he’d been doing before Take had barged in - examining the investigator’s modest movie collection; seeking evidence of some secret crime. “You like ancient samurai stuff?”

Not really. But his squad thought he did, and he didn’t have the heart to tell them otherwise. Hence being stuck on all his birthdays with enthusiastic subordinates and grisly battle scenes which reminded him too much of the dark side of their job. Luckily Hirako could zone out after the first five minutes while filling his belly with cake.

No Face picked another set of DVDs from the small pile beside him. “And Charlie Chaplin…How quaint.”

The Dove glanced at the items in question. Presents from Ui meant to cheer him up. They had, but mostly because they’d helped him forget about Kuramoto and Michibata’s idea of erotic literature.

“Is this what you wank to, Hira-Hira?” No Face brandished the DVDs.

Take almost dropped the quinque case on his feet.

“Hmm? That explains why I didn’t find any fapping material anywhere in your room.”

So he’d actually been ransacking his bedroom? Hirako had the irrational impulse to slam his briefcase into that masked face. He refrained, though, since Ryuu hadn’t budged an inch.

The DVD cases clanked softly when the ghoul set them on the table, by his feet. He tilted his head, taking a moment to size Take up. “You know, all that overtime isn’t doing you any favors. But now that you’re finally here, aren’t you going to play the proper host and offer me a cup of coffee?”

_Shameless fucker._ Take reached for his phone in his coat pocket, ready to call the headquarters and tell them…what? _No Face is harassing me again. He_ _’s invaded my home and I can’t with him on my own, now and in general. Send help immediately. All available squads. You’ll find me cowering in the bathroom with my dog and one of my finest dress shoes._

That should solve the problem. And the ghoul would get to tell everyone about their encounter a few days before. And Take would get the perfect opportunity to explain why he hadn’t reported it yet; something along the lines of _Nothing happened_ , and _I thought he_ _’d get bored of whatever crazy game he’s at and forget about me, like most people do._

Right. The kind of thing Arima would hug him for, with tears in his eyes, thanking him for being such an invaluable asset to the CCG. The kind of thing every investigator dreamed of having on their file - along with a lifetime of bureau work, demotion to third rank or permanent dismissal for fraternizing with blacklisted individuals.

Take felt like throwing up.

Defeated, he let the phone slid back into his pocket. No backup. He looked down at his unhelpful dog. On his own, again. Sooner or later, No Face would grow tired of them and leave them be. Or eat Hirako. Until then…

Take swooped up Ryuu in his arms.

He seemed a little too heavy for his size, probably just because he was trying to squirm free. The bulky case didn’t make things easier, either. Take carried him (plus the ruined shoe in his mouth) to the bathroom, where he deposited him on the floor. He shut the door before Ryuu could scamper back, mentally apologizing for the treatment. It was far from absolute safety, but better than nothing.

The hallway filled with pitiful whines and the scratching of claws on wood, amplified by the bathroom tiling. As though the dog were a spoiled child left out of a wonderful party. Take promised himself he’d make time for retraining if they survived the night.

On his way back he let Nagomi unfold, prepared to strike and possibly make a mess of his tidy apartment. Come to think of it…how had the ghoul broken in? The front door had been still standing. Locked soundly, even.

No Face had the upper hand in terms of strength and agility. Take, however, had his blank expression and his silence, a massive blade, and a whiny dog to protect no matter what. _Screw the green carpet._ It wasn’t in great shape, anyway, thanks to Ryuu’s work.

Weapon pointed forward, the investigator paused in the doorway to stare numbly at the empty couch.

“Less manners than your pet dragon, poor security. Oh, first class…” No Face lamented from the windowsill he was straddling. “See you veery soon.” He waved a gloved hand mockingly, diving backwards into the darkness before the Dove could reach him.

Take hesitated a moment, then leaned over the sill to the soundtrack of Ryuu’s howls. He peered down, hopeful. Maybe…?

_No such luck._

The street lights revealed only the concrete expanse far below. He looked up, around. No trace of the other. The creep had gone through the trouble of climbing all those floors just to invade his privacy. Should Take be flattered or disturbed? 

_So much for finding peace at home._ He’d talk to the landlord first thing in the morning about barring the windows with quinque steel. And sleep with Nagomi under his pillow from then on, without seeming paranoid. His shoulders sagged, heavy with frustration.

No Face had made a fool of him once again.

 


	3. Indulgence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody will know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nsfw stuff, mentions of bondage...shhh it’s vital for the plot. enjoy :p

A light flared up in the dark bedroom, followed by a shrill buzz. Take peeled his lids open, fumbled on his nightstand and picked up his phone. He tried to make sense of the little flashing icon.

A new message.

An emergency that was going to ruin another good night’s rest, just when he’d been so close to falling asleep. He jabbed at the screen grudgingly, before its content hit him like an ice pack. The picture…well, it was obviously not meant for his jaded eyes. The others hadn’t been, either, but they kept finding their way to him somehow (and wouldn’t stop anytime soon, hopefully).

The first one had baffled him out of the blue a few days ago. Take had considered informing the unknown sender of their mistake, but then quickly decided against it. The fewer awkward conversations he had to deal with, the better. And so his finger had hovered over the tiny trash can. He’d delete the image and forget the strange episode, because that was what decent people were supposed to do. 

It turned out, though, that his hands knew nothing of morality. One final, pining look at that low neckline, and Take’s index finger was already tracing the mesmerizing sights it exposed - the glimpse of an inked shoulder, mouthwatering collarbones and pecs.

Decency? Reason? They’d crumbled like rice crackers, and the picture had remained, a private treasure he’d guiltily ogle at home. More followed, irregularly. All monochrome, all breathtaking and much anticipated. Tasteful pieces which, as far as he could tell, featured various parts of the same faceless model. Each shot more revealing than the previous, like a static, digital show of striptease.

And now, _this_ …the curve of a hip bone jutting from the dark waves of a kimono. A challenge which brought an excited flush to his cheeks - ignore the growing pressure in his groin or relieve it, for once?

Take stared at the screen for what felt like a night and a half, transfixed and unable to make up his mind. He wasn’t the lover the photos were meant for. He had work in the morning. He was being ridiculous. He-

He received another picture.

The most seductive of them all. An arched male back emerging from deep shadows. Firm ass cheeks framed by winding tattoos and the thin chains dangling between them, connecting handcuffed wrists and arms.

His breath caught in his throat. His cock throbbed. What was the harm, really? He could…indulge. Just a little, just this time. It wouldn’t affect anyone, sender or intended recipient. For all Take knew, they could be living on the other side of the country, of the world. He’d never get to meet either, which was probably for the best; the model wouldn’t give him the time of day, anyway.

_Nobody will know_.

The Dove would make sure of that. He flicked on his nightstand lamp and crawled out of bed to inspect his apartment, as anxious as a teenager about to do something forbidden. He found Ryuu snoring on the living room couch, his legs jerking every so often as if running upside down in canine dreams. Lucky him.

Take padded on, through the kitchen and bathroom. No signs of intrusion anywhere. It seemed that a few ordinary steel bars had actually seen to that (the quinque kind required more explanations, permissions and money than he could justify).

Satisfied, he trudged back and shut the bedroom door quietly behind him. He laid on the bed face up, grabbing his phone again and turning off the light. The beautiful stranger was still there when he unlocked the screen, waiting for him in all his nude glory.

The investigator swallowed thickly. He shouldn’t be doing this - this filthy, thrilling thing. He was already palming himself through his boxers.

_Forgive me._

His free hand slid under the gray fabric, pulled his half-hard member out. He started with slow, teasing strokes, squeezing the base, circling the moist tip with his thumb. He sighed softly while he cupped his full balls and imagined it was the nude model toying with them…brushing his entrance as if by accident…lapping at his veiny shaft…wrapping his lips around it. He fantasized about having the man beneath him, bound and well-stretched, ready for the taking; or himself at the other’s mercy, tied up and sucking him off greedily.

Both scenarios spurred him on, just like the sheer depravity of the act. What would this person be like in bed? Would he lie before Take, spread open and submissive? Would he beg, or make the Dove beg? Bend Hirako over and fuck him into the nearest flat surface, until he couldn’t take any more?

He shuddered, lust pounding in his ears. Gods, how he wished he had some kind of dildo to shove into himself. Even a small one. He considered letting go of the phone to finger himself, but that was too troublesome. So instead he swiped at the screen shakily and brought the older pictures into view. Undone pants and shirt showing a triangle of abs and intricate tattoos. Filigree-adorned fingers dipping beneath a low waistband. Twisted sheets, artfully knotted coils of rope restricting long limbs.

Take paused to fondle his sack, pushed his t-shirt up to pinch his hardened nipples. He reached the latest shot again. Tantalizing buttocks, the wicked gleam of metal. Pale muscles he longed to run his palms over and dark curls of ink he ached to taste. He pumped himself faster, too aroused to drag it out; toes curling, gaze fixed on the erotic display.

_“Is this what you wank to, Hira-Hira?”_ No Face’s words from last time seeped into his thoughts, a slow-acting poison Take had no cure for.

The Dove bucked up into his fist, panting and knees bent; foreskin glided furiously over slick flesh. Sweat and precum rolled down his hot skin, but did little to quench his surge of anger.

_This is what I wank to, you fuck!_

He dug his heels deeper into the mattress and threw his head back into the pillow. Straining, every nerve alight with bliss. Seed burst out of him.

Dazed and breathless, he collapsed on the sheets. When he was finally able to move, Take pulled off his damp t-shirt, wiped himself clean with it and let it land on the floor. He retrieved his phone, which he’d dropped on the bed during his climax, and wished the mysterious stranger good night with a weary smile before setting the device back on the nightstand.

Sleep snatched him as soon as he tucked himself back into his underwear and curled under the blanket.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you’re curious, the handcuffs and chain pic Take received was inspired by [this nsfw image](http://imgur.com/QqmxCKU), which i found on the internet a while ago. if you happen to know the artist/model’s names, please let me know.


	4. Matchmaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aww, Hira-Hira, that’s blue balls for you.”

 

Take staggered back to his apartment that night with three simple things in mind: a cup of instant noodles, a short walk with his dog, and a long sleep. Not _this._ A flood of light which made his bloodshot eyes water and his head throb; No damn Face making himself at home on his coffee table, like a kitschy statue wrapped up in zebra print. Holding Ryuu hostage.

“Welcome home, Hira-Hira.”

_The nerve._

The shiba inu barked curtly, wagged his tail a few times, but made no move to join his owner. Of course. He couldn’t. Otherwise he’d be right at Take’s feet, greeting him properly. Not like this, barely sparing him a glance.

The investigator blinked a few times until his vision adjusted to the artificial brightness and his mind resumed working.

Things still didn’t make sense.

The dog wouldn’t be sitting by the ghoul of his own free will. He knew he was strictly forbidden from jumping on the table. Nor would he be eating from housebreakers. No Face wasn’t holding anyone or anything, though. Except the small box he kept shaking absently, which held Ryuu under its spell and made him act like his lieutenant.

Take stood in the doorway, perplexed. But Ryuu loved him! He wouldn’t switch sides like that for the sake of some…some…

Premium cat snacks.

All that retraining and thorough diet plans seemed to be gurgling down the drain with each fish-shaped biscuit. The shiba didn’t need any saving - Hirako did, as the prisoner of a recurring nightmare. 

He took a few deep breaths. Perhaps his pet wasn’t in any danger, unless you counted gaining a few pounds. Hours of sleepless pondering (when he refused to give in to certain male nudes) had made him reach two conclusions.

If No Face had really meant Ryuu any harm, he would’ve acted long ago, instead of bothering to corrupt him.

And Hirako’s squad wouldn’t have been much help, anyway. They could hardly set camp in his living room and put an end to whatever little quiet time he had.

A soft humming jolted him out of his existential crisis. The ghoul was poring over the large picture book propped against his crossed legs, casually feeding Ryuu a few more treats. Light glinted off the obscene amount of piercings in his ears and the dark gloss of his bizarre haircut. The sight didn’t improve the situation, but might at least ease the identification process.

“These are prettier than the last batch,” No Face mused, pointing at a page. The investigator noticed his hands were encased in something black and glossy this time. Leather? Latex? “I’m almost tempted myself. There’s something about girls who know what they want…”

_Cup noodles. Short walk. Long sleep._ The last thing he needed was this delinquent messing up his schedule, babbling about twisted preferences. Take pitied those unfortunate enough to fall into No Face’s clutches.

“And here we have your grandma’s top three picks,” the ghoul rambled on. “Michiko-san, twenty…oh? Looks fifteen to me.” He shrugged. “Optimistic, sociable, loves shopping. She says your _manly charm_ and…ah… _intellectual allure_ have stolen her heart, and now her greatest wish is to become your wife and fill your house with many, many healthy children. Ai-san, Yuuko-san…and all the rest feel the same. Lucky you, first class.” He held the book up, revealing a few painfully familiar profiles.

_Oh. Fuck._

The matchmaking photos! Take had been so swamped in work, he’d forgotten to get rid of his grandmother’s latest compilation.

The intruder’s eyes glowed beneath his ever-present mask, vile embers the same shade Hirako had come to associate with misfortune. He acted as if the Dove were less threatening than the dust on the biker boots defiling the table, so why the need to always keep his kakugan on in his presence?

Take released his quinque slowly, almost sluggishly, watching it unfurl to its full size. He dropped the empty briefcase and pointed the sword at his persistent opponent, savoring the only gesture he could afford.

Against all odds, they were slipping into the same surreal routine, working to perfect it: the ghoul, the Dove, and the greedy dog (or _doge_ , as Kuramoto said) getting in the way. Like one of those silent comedies Hirako sometimes chuckled at when nobody was around to hear him.

Too bad things were less funny with him in the protagonist’s chewable shoes. Muting No Face permanently…another goal to add to that night’s list.

“Is this the human custom? Order your bride from a catalog, like shopping for a piece of garden furniture? Feels too impersonal to me.”

_My sentiments exactly._ If only somebody could persuade Take’s grandmother to stop treating him like breeding stock and give up her ‘marry a nice human girl and give us plump great-grandchildren’ campaign…

She’d even gone as far as tricking him into an interview-like date. Half an hour of suffering through bleached, over-tanned, twenty-looks-fifteen Michiko barking up the entirely wrong tree - ‘Take-chan, how come you’re still single?’, ‘Why are you so silent?’, ‘Why aren’t you smiling?’, ‘Is there something on my face?’, ‘Why, why, why?’. In the end she’d shoved the marriage forms under his nose, urging him to sign them quickly because she couldn’t miss her tanning appointment.

But he couldn’t wed one of his grandmother’s favorites. He already had quite a few exquisite choices of companionship. Like Nagomi, sharp and no-nonsense; Ryuu, despite his questionable loyalty; the Kitchen Table, serene and reliable.

Heck, even No Face.

“Anyway, they’re kinda young for you, Hirako-san.”  The ghoul shook his head disapprovingly as he leafed through the catalog. “You’re what, forty-something?”

More like one hundred and ninety. Hirako shifted, ignored the ache of Ryuu’s betrayal and the twinge in certain hind regions; the unforgiving reminder of a poorly spent afternoon.

_Noodles. Walk. Sleep._

Or a bite of those golden, crunchy cat snacks. He wasn’t asking for much. He regarded No Face, impassive, helpless fury pumping through his veins. It fueled him, nurtured the vague plan forming in his head.

“Never mind, they say age is just a number. Ne, Ryuu-chan?”

The dog barked, mesmerized by the cat snack on its way to his crumbs-lined snout. He snatched it, chomped on it. Then, to his owner’s horror, he licked a few stray bits off the wooden surface.

_Shameless glutton._ The investigator stared at Ryuu, ordering, “Down.” The shiba whined and kept begging for another snack. _Traitor._

“You should definitely give these girls a chance. Fill the world with droopy-eyed, mini Hira-Hiras.”

_Not you, too._ Why were people so obsessed with passing their genes along? Take had no looks, no charm (manly or otherwise), no _allure,_ and the dangers of his lifestyle outweighed the benefits of his steady income. It was beyond him why some insisted he was a good catch and the Hirako line was worth carrying on.

No, no rowdy offspring for him to worry about.

It still haunted him, the speech he’d had to deliver with Akira at an elementary school.  He’d been chosen a few weeks ago as a last minute stand-in for first class Ken Kaneki, star of the Anti-discrimination Division and natural half-ghoul. Thanks to Take’s oratorical skills, probably; and because the only options available at that time had included a koi fish, coarse and volatile Ayato of the all-ghoul Kirishima squad, and Mado senior - who had actually volunteered for the task, but Akira had objected.

And so Take had followed her along crowded corridors, trying to emulate her confident, brisk efficiency. The kids had clung to every word about equality, the ghouls’ appendages and special diet, the meaning of CCG (Commission for Coexistence with Ghouls) and its double role - supplying synthetic food for the ghoul population and dealing with non-human offenders.

That had been the somewhat manageable part.

The rest…Children looking up to them, as if they were some kind of heroes. Looking for chinks in their armors, keen on sniffing out secrets. ‘Hey, mister, is big sis here your girlfriend? Why not?’.

Take would rather fight an SSS rank ghoul, naked and barehanded, than relive the experience. A cock-starved nobody like him had no right to be playing the role model.

Showing off Nagomi and Amatsu had smoothed over other off-topic questions, thankfully. They might not be as impressive as Kaneki’s rinkaku, but the classroom had still flocked to see them up close.

“No ladies for you, hmm?” No Face purred knowingly. “That’s all right. What about slamming it into another man? A nice, fat cock all the way up your ass…another one down your throat? Stretching you wide open, filling you up with their loads. Don’t tell me you’ve never tried it.”

To his credit, Hirako didn’t shudder at his low tone, the words and the enticing mental images they conjured.

“No? Pity. With all those handsome colleagues of yours…I’d definitely try it, if I were you. Or…” The other tilted his head to the side like a gloating bird of prey. “Could it be that you’re having trouble scoring and need a few tips?”

His grip on the hilt hurt, but Take’s arm wasn’t shaking with barely suppressed rage.

“That guy earlier…you know you can do better than that. No moans, no begging, no dirty talk…such a letdown.”

_What the_ _…?_

His facade verged on cracking. But he couldn’t just charge at the ghoul, with Ryuu munching his biscuits right there. Take bit his tongue to distract himself.

“Did he even get you off, first class?”

_Nope._ It had been pathetic, even by his standards. Some random idiot who’d been hitting on him at the bar. Hirako’s lonely, tipsy self had decided to follow him to a cheap motel room, since he reminded him a little of the Handsome Stranger. Take’s enthusiasm had wilted after the first five minutes of clumsy coupling, standing no chance against _sugar_ , _baby-doll_ and _Sakura-chan-why_ _’d-ya-leave-me-baby_.

And No Face had been stalking him, apparently; ready for another daily episode of Take’s _Fuck My Life_ reality show _._

“He even tasted awful,” No Face added.

Yes, but….eh?! Had this filthy lowlife gobbled up the guy? Why not eat Hirako, too, and be done with it? Better yet, leave and never return.

No Face could also be implying some more or less harmless perversions. The Dove didn’t care to ask for details. Instead, he contemplated finding a dark corner where he could curl up for a few centuries, forget and be forgotten.

None was available, thanks to the current waste of electricity. They might as well be on a stage; the ghoul sure looked dressed up for the occasion, nauseating stripes and all. They didn’t even need a public, the way he was watching Hirako.

“Are your grandparents aware of your off-duty activities?”

How much did No Face knew about his family? Were they safe? Was there anything safe anymore, with this nutcase on the loose?

“I could inform them, if you like.”

Hirako’s pulse rocketed. He’d somehow failed to consider the possibility of No Face discussing his sex life, volunteering to out him and give his only remaining relatives a heart attack.

At least he had no idea about certain anonymous pictures. Yet.

The ghoul put the box down. Ryuu sniffed and pawed it; whimpered when he found it empty; took his disappointment out on the thin cardboard while the intruder petted his head.

It was the best chance Take would get.

Calling out his pet’s name, he backed into the narrow hallway where he picked up the new, escape proof harness and leash, and shook them.

Their jingle surpassed everything else. The animal lifted his head. He abandoned the soggy package and dashed after him.

Nagomi wasn’t meant for throwing, for a good reason, but the investigator was long past caring. He aimed, holding his weapon awkwardly, and flung it.

No Face dodged with ridiculous ease and quiet chuckles. The blade hit the wall behind him and sank halfway in. Plaster flakes settled like petals on the carpet Take had recently vacuumed.

“Aww, Hira-Hira, that’s blue balls for you. Don’t pout, I’ll show you sometime what a good fuck feels like…” The ghoul was already crouching on the windowsill. “Mind if I borrow this?” He knew better than to wait for an answer, and was long gone before the Dove could reach his stuck weapon, taking the cursed matchmaking compilation with him.

A warm gust of wind ruffled the curtains dramatically, carrying the scandalous words closer and enveloping Take in their echo.

He rushed over, slammed the windows shut - no sign of the steel bars he’d been foolish enough to put his trust in. Maybe he should just wall them up.

_A good fuck, huh?_

Ryuu nuzzled his legs as he struggled to pull his quinque free and ignore the outrageous tingle in his belly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tehee~ 
> 
> edit: the girl Hira was tricked to meet (Michiko) is a [ganguro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganguro). thanks to Yusa for helping me clarify a few cultural aspects :)


	5. Spicy Harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Kuramoto suspect something?  
> Was there anything to suspect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took waaay longer than expected and i'm sorry  
> but hey, we have 3 guests…

“What does ‘we-e-we-e’ mean?”

“Non, non, monsieur Hirako, it’s pronounced ‘oui’.”

Take glanced up from the small notebook he’d been struggling to fill with anything noteworthy.

“It means ‘yes’ in French,” the part-timer explained. “As I was saying, today is my first day on the job, so I was determined to do my best, naturally. I was shelving some très dolce mirrors when I just happened to catch a glimpse of my reflection and…heartbreak!” He struck a complicated pose which must’ve taken him years to master. “I noticed my coiffure was defying me again - it’s all this dreadful humidity, you see.” He paused to check his reflection in the windows of the ultra-cheap shop before fixing his ridiculously impeccable hair for the fifth time that hour.

“And then?” Take prompted, voice raspy with thirst and shirt marinated with sweat. He could follow Kuramoto’s example, loosen his tie and undo the first button. Would it help, though? He already felt like a heap of soggy seaweed past its prime; smelled like one, too. Still, better outside in a partly shaded alleyway than inside the cramped store behind them.

“And then I commenced adjusting my image, of course.”

“Why?”

“W-why?” the blue-haired man bristled. He stopped preening to stare at Hirako, as if the investigator had made an awful joke.  “I couldn’t have Kaneki-kun pass by on his way home and see me like that, could I?”

“Kaneki-kun?” Kuramoto chirped. “You don’t mean first class Kaneki, Tsukiyama-san?”

“The one and only. Ooh, he won’t believe I’ve had such an exciting debut!”

“And the nature of your relationship with him is…?” Itou pried, pulling out his notepad. The one saturated with bits of gossip.

Take let the irrelevant question slide. Kuramoto’s idle curiosity needed a target other than his superior’s misery.

Shuu Tsukiyama blushed, adding another layer of color to his pink and orange…what was the word he’d used earlier? _Ensemble_?  “We…eh…we’re quite close.”

The blond whistled. “A ghoul and a half-ghoul Dove…sounds like a match made in heaven. A dangerous one, though…What do you think, squad leader Hirako?”

_A ghoul and a Dove?_

Take pretended to consult his own notes. He ignored the metaphorical sandpaper lining his throat and the blistering asphalt sucking in the soles of his shoes. No need to worry about his current bout of perspiration - the heat provided a convenient explanation.

Did Kuramoto suspect something?

Was there _anything_ to suspect?

Sure, there were No Face’s intrusions. Pure, despicable harassment. But some creative busybody could read much more into them; see something like…flirting, with a stretch of imagination the size of CCG’s headquarters.

Was that it? Could it be that…maybe…the ghoul had been flirting with him all this time? With _him_? That might explain why Hirako was still in one piece.

_Such terrible taste._

Take wouldn’t have chosen himself, if he’d had an actual say in the matter.

He heard Shuu reply in his stead, “The danger…I think it holds a unique, spicy harmony, so to speak.”

“Absolutely,” Kuramoto smiled encouragingly. “I’ve heard it’s the latest fad, having a ghoul lover.”

“Oui. You could say there are some…” Tsukiyama’s blush darkened and his lips curved shyly.  “…exclusive delights.”

“Whoa!” Itou’s eyes widened in a rare display of surprise. “So how often do you use your kagunes during-”

“Kuramoto,” Hirako warned.

“But, squad leader, aren’t you just a little curious about the whole-?”

“No.” Curious about the caress of a kagune, instead of its stab? About all the sordid acts a certain intruder might subject him to on a whim, in the not so distant future? What if Take actually enjoyed them, and asked for a repeat?

He didn’t even need to bother imagining - the short video Itou had recently shown the squad at work (for _research purposes_ ) had been explicit enough. The two female ghouls wearing lacy half-masks, pleasuring each other in unconventional ways, had left Hirako dazed, wondering…questioning his own homosexuality.

And speculating excessively about No Face’s mysterious kagune.

“Sorry,” the blond apologized, cheerful and insincere.

“Tsukiyama-san, did you see the perpetrator?” Hirako changed the subject before the twitching in his pants became obvious.

“Bien sûr!” The part-timer swiped his asymmetrical bangs out of his face. “Out of the corner of my eye. They had this magnificent queue de poisson.”

Hot, blank silence.

“ _Ke-what_? How do you spell that?” Kuramoto demanded. Shuu told him.

Take watched his subordinate scribble the phrase under a growing list of ‘nonon’, ‘heartbreak!’ and ‘dolce’. “That is…?”

“A fish tail-like bikaku,” Shuu sighed theatrically. “It’s a shame that fine investigators such as yourselves are so poorly trained in foreign languages.”

Good thing they had Tsukiyama to give them free lessons.

“And you did nothing to stop them, even though public displays of kagune are against the law?”

“How could I do otherwise, Herr Itou? I was engrossed in my task, and the register is Saiko-chan’s domain.”

“But she was _supposed_ to be cleaning the windows at the time,” Kuramoto insisted.

Tsukiyama waved a manicured hand dismissively.

Take examined their reflections in the said windows. Beyond the dusty panes, the manager was still berating the tiny cashier. She didn’t look impressed, though, nose buried in her gaming device and blue pigtails bobbing with each absent nod.

_Talk about coping mechanisms_. Maybe he should get one of those tiny consoles, too. At least then he’d feel more productive. “You’re the heir to the Tsukiyama Group, right?”

“Oui.”

“Really?” Kuramoto wondered. “The conglomerate negotiating with the CCG to mass produce the Rc cells formula?”

“Indeed. And, let me tell you, I’ve been planning to enrich it with an exciting array of coffee-based flavours.” Shuu started enumerating them, names so complicated that even the blond couldn’t keep up with. “And _Robusta Ol_ _é_ , calmato or fortissimo. But please don’t tell anyone about this, it’s supposed to remain a secret.”

Take hoped that Mirumo Tsukiyama had more sense than his son, for the sake of both species involved.

“Then what exactly are you doing here, playing part-timer at this 100-yen shop?” Itou asked.

Shuu did belong in a castle, or on the set of a popular soap opera, surrounded by admirers. Not in this unsanitary alley, conversing with two sweat-soaked investigators, making everything and everybody look even shabbier.

“For amore, of course. When Kaneki-kun told me one day to ‘get a life or get lost’, I knew it was time for me to venture into this big world and prove how hardworking I am.” Shuu spread his arms wide. “Papa said the commoners would be honored to have me in their midst.”

“How noble,” Kuramoto remarked after another stuffy silence. He scrawled ‘amore’ and underlined it twice. “And the uniform suits you.”

Tsukiyama performed another pose which required more energy than Take cared to estimate. The Akihabara cosplayers would have envied his skill. And his outfit.

Come to think of it, Hirako’s grandmother used to buy him similar clothes as a boy, and made him wear them whenever she felt like dragging him to the neighbourhood playground. She’d soon drag him back home, though, scolding him because he couldn’t make any friends. It wasn’t his fault his garish overalls scared off the other children.

The shop manager chose that moment to holler for his employee.

“If that would be all, gentlemen…” Shuu excused himself.

Take nodded sleepily, his mind still tangled up in morbid memories. He watched Tsukiyama float back inside his first (and probably former) working place, closing the door behind him.

“Take-san…”

Hirako waited for the rest.

“What in the world is a spicy harmony?”

He considered his answer for a while, before finally venturing, “Some kind of foreign dish.”

“Oh. Do you think Tsukiyama and Saiko-chan have got anything to do with Little Mermaid?”

“No.” Unless being accomplice to trivial shoplifting was a new sport among gamers and the rich and famous.

Kuramoto sighed, fanning himself with his closed notepad. “Some people just have it all.”

_Tell me about it._ Take’s grandmother would’ve pulled all the strings to secure a union between her grandson and the flamboyant heir. And then she would’ve sunk neck deep into debt to fake luxury and stage the wedding of the year. Fortunately, Shuu was male, and a ghoul.

Hirako couldn’t believe his luck, for once.

The notebook proved too small to help Kuramoto cool himself. He stopped soon, ran a finger along its spiral and thumbed through the damp pages. “So…one bottle of sun lotion, one beach umbrella, two beach towels-”

“With ‘matching popular red and white starfish pattern’,” Take quoted the shop owner.

“One beach umbrella and two beach towels with matching, popular red and white starfish pattern,” the other agreed, writing down the details.“Two beach balls…”

“With green and orange smiling octopus design.”

Furious scribbling. “The…‘tiny ones, you guys know ‘em, right?’” They didn’t, but dreaded them all the same. “And two sets of beach toys?”

“For children ages three and up _,_ ” Hirako recited from his sorely abused memory.

More scribbling.

The first class closed his eyes for one blessed moment. As far as crimes went, this was the pettiest they’d ever encountered. But theft was theft, and since the offender was a ghoul, the case fell by default into CCG’s hands. That is, into Hirako squad’s, who had been pursuing Little Mermaid for quite a while.

“No swimming suit, though,” Kuramoto mused. “Our Mermaid sure likes skinny-dipping - we can be sure it’s them, right, Take-san?”

“It seems so.” Hirako flipped a few pages in his own notebook. “Yonebayashi said ‘some kid with a shiny tail thingy’ had stormed past her when she was about to level up, and Tsukiyama confirmed the kagune type.”

“Let’s not forget about the old guy brandishing a map and that fish plushie, pointing at its tail,” the blond chuckled.

Oh, the tourist. The lost, awestruck tourist older than Tsuneyoshi Washuu. Their most valuable eyewitness. 

“Then again, he probably just wanted sushi,” Kuramoto spoke again. “Too bad the shop’s video surveillance has been down for months. We finally meet somebody who’s seen our target up-close, but we can’t get a thing he’s babbling. Isn’t it funny?”

“He said the thief looked like a man. As in human.” A revelation which had taken Hirako, Itou and Takeomi two hours of miming and guessing.

“Can’t argue with that, Take-san.”

They’d requested an interpreter from the main office. None had been available, which just about proved the importance of the case in the eyes of their higher-ups.

“We’re dealing with an awfully bored brat who thinks it’s cool to harass us,” Kuramoto said. “And we’re not getting anywhere like this, are we?”

“No.” Take glanced down at the metal briefcases by their feet and the slowly dwindling patch of shade. No leads. No breakthroughs. No resources…He exhaled slowly, large drops of sweat crawling down his neck. Good thing he’d sent the rest of the team back to the branch office.

“At this rate, we’ll land a promotion by the time we retire,” Itou went on. He undid another button and started fanning himself once more, this time with the notepad held open.

Take eyed him. Tie hanging loosely around his neck, shirt partly unbuttoned. Face flushed and shiny. Hair slightly disheveled, radiant in the harsh light…Kuramoto had none of Arima’s icy, untouchable beauty (which had caused rookie Hirako’s heart to flutter once upon a time), but his boyish, guy-next-door nonchalance more than made up for it.

Before he knew it, Take’s thoughts were flying to bathroom trysts and office indulgences. Would Kuramoto be up for skipping meaningless work for…? What would it feel like to fit his own chapped lips over Itou’s parted ones and-

_No!_

He couldn’t be lusting after his younger subordinate. What the fuck was wrong with him?!

_No Face. That’s what._

The ghoul’s influence - taking root, twisting and contaminating. Not that Take needed more than a nudge to start with.

Kuramoto caught him staring. “Something the matter, Take-san?”

Damn. So perceptive, his fox-eyed deputy. One of those days he’d catch on his growing pile of filthy secrets and that’d be the end of Hirako.

“Should we go back inside for some more questioning?” the blond suggested meekly, smile faltering.

Take watched the three figures through the fine layer coating the shop windows. The owner was still flapping his arms like a rabid duck, ranting about his employees and the CCG’s incompetence, and imminent bankruptcy - even though Tsukiyama’s gallant offer to compensate him had been greedily accepted. Hirako himself would’ve paid the man ten times the value of the stolen goods, if only to buy everybody five minutes of silence.

Safe in her digital refuge, Saiko didn’t even bother to raise her head. As for Shuu, he wore a polite, vacant smile and failed to be surreptitious while studying himself in nearby reflective surfaces.

“No,” Take said finally, ears still ringing from the manager’s previous rounds of hysterics. “We’ll call it a day.”

Kuramoto’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Thank goodness! You’re a saint, Take-san, I swear.”

Hirako could barely hold back a grin. Yeah, a saint. That was him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a huge thanks to Yusa for helping me with Japanese cultural stuff this chapter and putting up with my endless questions. any inaccuracies are my own (there’s only so much realism i can cram into the AU of an AU)  
> also thanks to penguins_shake_it for being the most patient beta reader ever. and to you guys, for all your support!


	6. Bad Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If this was No Face’s idea of flirting…

Take tensed, keys inches away from the lock. He waited, and waited, and then waited some more, leaning closer to the door.

Nothing.

He pressed his ear to the cool, smooth surface, hoping nobody would catch him like that. _We_ _’ll call it a day_ , he’d said after their enlightening talk with Tsukiyama. So they had, and for a little while he’d believed that the sweltering remains of his day might improve. But now something was wrong, and-

Nearby door yanked open.

Angry footsteps.

He straightened up guiltily and spun around to meet the familiar glare of his next door neighbours. The couple disregarded his nod as they stormed past him with an audible mutter of ‘Fucking pervert’, treating Take to the view of their retreating backs.

_Gratitude, sweet gratitude._

So rewarding, this job of his. So worth it, risking life and limb for people who never missed a chance to show their appreciation. He and his dog might be oversized caterpillars in their eyes, but that was all right, of course. Just like those frequent parties and fights (and noisy make-up sex) which robbed him of his precious few hours of sleep.

Perfectly fine.

So it should be just as fine if Ryuu _happened_ to bolt and pee on their doormat (again), since lingering in front of his own door had already made Take a deviant. Nothing suspicious about it, anyway. He had every right to do so. In fact, he could spend the rest of his day just like that, listening closely to the…silence.

The shiba inu’s whines and scraping at the door as soon as Hirako would step out of the elevator were the highlights of his days. Their absence bode worse than the muffled groans he thought he was hearing again.

_“P-please…”_

His greasy lunch threatened to make a reappearance. Kuramoto’s speech had been charming enough to bypass Take’s better judgment, so the first class had ended up with a belly full of hot ramen _guaranteed_ to cool him off - ‘hot food on a hot day to cancel each other out.’ _Sure._ His body temperature had reached the point where his sticky clothes had started drying off while he was still wearing them.

_“Aah!”_

There was someone inside. Someone hurt, probably. And there he was, stalling and overthinking, sluggish with saturated fats while No Face, most likely, was up to no good again.

The Dove unlocked the door quickly and charged inside, not bothering with stealth - the intruder must have already been aware of his presence. _I_ _’ll get you this time, I’ll get you!_ played like a mantra inside his head while Nagomi seemed to pulse in his clenched fist.

“Ryuu?” he called out as soon as the door clicked shut behind him.

Nope. No dog in sight. Just a pale flicker and…

_“You like that, huh? You like it rough?”_

No Face wouldn’t just drag people in here to toy with and eat them, would he?

_“Yes! Please, officer!”_

_Would he?_ Take dashed into his living room, pulse drumming in his ears. It took a single step, though, a single glance for his momentum to fizzle out like the cheap, nearly lethal soda the CCG served them at special events.

Mouth slightly open, he stared at the small screen of his tv. Juuzou Suzuya was lifting a massive hand to deliver another smack to the reddened bottom in his lap. It belonged to a considerably smaller and terribly squeaky Iwao Kuroiwa - that is, to the actor with Kuroiwa senior’s picture inexpertly pasted over his own head.

_“And you’ll be a good boy?”_ grunted the tall and muscular “Juuzou”, adjusting his police hat. More slaps, more moans.

_“_ _Nngh! Ooh! Yes! I promise, officer!_ _”_

The investigators’ faces had a white halo, as if they’d been cut out from a larger piece. Like profile pictures linked to classified files supposedly safe within the organization’s database and headquarters. Right at a certain ghoul’s disposal.

The scene shifted to Koutarou Amon, his awkwardly edited picture attached to a much shorter, daintier frame. It didn’t prevent him from enjoying the loving attentions of “Kureo Mado”, whose spectacular muscles boasted an oily sheen.

Next to them, “Arima”, “Matsuri Washuu” and “Itsuki Marude”’s game of hide the sausage in the pool resulted in water splashed all around - including all over a tiny version of “Yukinori Shinohara” and a stocky “Yoshitoki Washuu”, busy sharing a _towel_ \- this one without the ‘popular red and white starfish pattern’.

Currently endowed with youthful, delicate bodies, “Mougan Tanakamaru” and “Kousuke Houji” were safe behind the line of chaises where they were taking good care of their…eh…not so little buddy “Seidou Takizawa”. Or was it the other way around? It made no difference, their faces altered to express the unearthly delight they were no doubt experiencing.

Hirako began a desperate search for the remote control when he glimpsed the following threesome: “Koori Ui”, “Ayato Kirishima” and “Ken Kaneki”. All buff, all sporting the same dumb, digitally enhanced grin. _A match made in heaven_. His friend Ui, who couldn’t stand the other two in real life. Ayato, who couldn’t stand anyone much, except his own sister. And Kaneki, who often ended up caught in the middle.

Such a lively party…and No Face had staged it just for Take. No _Face_? More like _No Life_ if he had so much time on his hands. At least he’d forgotten to include him.

The Dove flipped the lights on and scanned the room. No sign of the intruder. In fact, everything seemed to be at its rightful place - even the rectangular hole in the wall left by Nagomi on the ghoul’s previous invasion, which Take had had so much trouble explaining to the landlord.

Everything, except the remote and that new box in the corner.

The one Ryuu was digging his way through, ignoring owner and poolside orgy alike; trying to bury the unidentified treasure clenched in his jaws and filling the living room with sand while he was at it. That explained the crunching under Take’s feet. Good thing he’d been too preoccupied to remove his shoes.

_“Did I break the law? You gonna take me in, punish me real good, officer?_ _”_ It was “Hanbee Abara”’s turn in “Juuzou”’s lap.

The groans and slaps intensified just as Hirako was about to reach his dog. He turned, against his will, to witness the scene meant to ice this perverse cake: himself (wearing a muzzle and a stupidly ecstatic face) deeply engaged with his squad members. And then “Arima” joined-

_Screw the remote!_

Hirako lunged at the tv, quinque instantly discarded. His gaze shunned his on-screen acrobatics while he fumbled for the power button. There was only so much comfort censorship could provide, so much excitement he could bear in a single day.

He hit the button viciously. Some long, shocked minutes later he slapped a palm over his mouth. It didn’t help. Laughter still had him shaking. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. But they’d…looked so happy. “Ui”, “Michibata” and “Umeno” and “Nezu”, “Kuramoto” and “Takeomi”, “Arima” and the rest…what…what a new way of bonding…how would he be able to face anyone at work after that?

How many copies?

Take ejected the disk unsteadily and read the message calligraphed in black. ‘ _A little something to add to your movie collection, Hira-Hira_ _’._ He snapped it in half, then in quarters, for good measure. In case he ever felt the urge to watch it again.

Meanwhile, the excavating went on. Soon enough Ryuu would reach the downstairs female pomeranian he’d recently befriended.

The Dove stood, pulled the growling pet away from his latest plaything and snatched the box. He even managed two steps before it fell apart in his arms, its fine contents somehow spilling on the cleaner patches of floor and carpet.

A small, oblong item landed on top of the miniature desert. He tossed away the empty container before prodding the gritty thing Ryuu had been working so hard to hide. The mystery of the missing remote was solved the moment Hirako picked it up and fulfilled his destiny as an investigator. Small chance of it still working, though, half-chewed and sand-encrusted.

He let it drop with a sigh, allowing himself an unproductive moment to mourn the mess and feel sorry for himself. _Rest? What rest?_ Free evenings were meant for cleaning up after his frisky mutt and No Face. They’d become such buddies behind his back.

Take sagged on the couch, soggier than a piece of overboiled vegetable. A small break. Then he’d fetch the vacuum cleaner and launch into the fascinating battle for the formerly green carpet.

Ryuu came to sit by his feet, almost smiling as he proudly presented the deceased remote. Take bent to pet him but the animal dodged, quick to protect his trophy and find a new source of entertainment - the bottomless box made a great tunnel. At least one of them was having fun.

The investigator sank deeper into the cushions, eyelids beginning their slow descent. Right. A prank. All that mattered was that his companion was safe and nobody had actually been hurt…and that blurred silhouette vanishing into his bedroom.

_The endless joys of being haunted._

He should’ve checked all the rooms. Blinking exhaustion away, he dragged himself up and collected his abandoned weapon with a silent apology. He caught the sound of a window being opened just before trudging into the dark bedroom.

No Face had already made himself scarce, predictably, but not before leaving him one last gift. Take turned the light on, which made the lump under the covers look even worse. Human-shaped. Dangerously still.

_Oh, for fuck_ _’s sake!_

First Tsukiyama’s French lessons, then the welcome home show, and now…He’d heard Akira complain about the dead things Maris Stella brought her, but this…

_This_ wasn’t some perverse, immature game between Take and No Face; not something he could overlook anymore. A body meant alerting the headquarters. Enough paperwork to bury it (and himself) in. Moving out. _More cleanup. More half-baked explanations._ Actually, how was he supposed to explain a stranger’s corpse in his bed?

But maybe…maybe he wouldn’t have to.

No blood stains. No smell. It might be the intruder himself under the sheets, keeping Take’s bed extra-warm. A twisted jack-in-the-box - an alternative which sounded much better. No Face could move on his own, at least.

Still, there was the figure’s size to consider. The faint buzzing. That dubious, prominent bulge. Hirako raised his blade before tearing off the covers, expecting the worst…and finding it, in a way.

Empty stare. Arima-style glasses.

_What?!_

Kuroiwa eyebrows. Tanakamaru-like hair and mustache. Wide open mouth, white tongue sticking out.

_No._

Stubby limbs. Plastic sheen. Marker-drawn muscles and chest hair.

Take lowered his quinque and closed his eyes. Too late. The Arima-Kuroiwa-Tanakamaru hybrid had already become part of his memories, every hideous detail fuel for nightmares to come. The constant humming of the vibrator attached to it wouldn’t let him forget, either. 

He’d been so close to call for backup for _this_. So, so close.

When he risked opening his eyes again, he noticed a card hanging from the side of the doll’s chunky neck. He picked it up reluctantly, as if the piece of paper carried dangerous particles.

_‘A bad boy just like you, to help you cool down on these hot nights.’_

The doodle of a beaked mask leered at him beneath the same artistic script far more interesting than his own. If this was No Face’s idea of flirting…

Take crumpled up the note. He’d capture him. Oh, how he would! And he’d make sure the fucker got a life sentence in the deepest, nastiest Cochlea cell. _Forget the rehabilitation program._ Therapy had its limits.

Nagomi hit the floor with a reproachful clang when he grabbed the air-leaking Bad Boy with both hands, as if it were about to run off. His feet carried him automatically to the open window.

He spotted the masked culprit far below, red gaze vivid in the gloom. _Dusk? When did that happen?_ Oh, yes. A metaphor for whatever Hirako was doing with his life - fretting over imaginary victims, gaping at counterfeit shenanigans for half an evening.

_Mmmm boy._

He cast the doll down at the waving ghoul without a second thought; without waiting to watch it float down past all those floors. Instead, Take forced the window shut, sealing its frame with his sweaty forehead, a decidedly sane ( _sane_!) grin, and an incantation.

“I quit.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [i aten’t ded]
> 
> aaand big thanks to Yusa again :D
> 
> how can hira resist [these beauties](http://imgur.com/a/XkoV4)? careful, you might fall in love.


	7. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was supposed to capture No Face, not get swept away by his dubious charms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know, it’s been ages. so here’s a double chapter + porn to make up for it. i hope you’ll enjoy it.  
> also, new tags yaay!  
> thanks for your patience and support :)  
> and special thanks to Hollis and Yusa <3
> 
> __________________________________________

_Pouring again, huh?_

Take stirred, burrowing deeper into the blankets. The noise persisted, steady and intrusive.

Funny.

The more he focused, the less it sounded like rain. Ryuu…The dog must’ve found a way to sneak into the bathroom and play with the faucet again. Any moment now the screams of a soaked shiba inu would let Take know how his pet was faring against the mighty water sprays.

The Dove pulled the covers over his head. No. He wasn’t about to get up and rescue Ryuu from the wrath of the shower sprayer.

But all that water being wasted…

He opened his eyes with a groan and peered blearily at the unfamiliar surroundings. Ridiculously large (and empty) bed, cream walls still in pristine shape, Western-style furnishings too luxurious for his needs or tastes and…how exactly had he ended up-

_Oh, right. Last week. The moving-out operation_.

Kuramoto’s girlfriend, Itori, with her charming smile, wink and the irresistible deal she cut Take on the flat she had for rent (“As thanks for taking good care of Kuramocchan”). The packing up, the nondescript van borrowed from Michibata’s uncle, the unpacking - quick, discreet actions performed during broad daylight, when a certain ghoul was less likely to be lurking.

A new place, a new ward and, hopefully, a new life. He could even start growing a few large potted plants, now that he finally had enough space for them.

No Face would be so disappointed to find Take’s old apartment empty. The Dove smirked into his pillow, satisfied. He navigated the white expanse of sheets and blankets until he finally reached the distant edge of the bed.

He took a few moments to steady himself before extracting his legs from the snug haven. _One, two_ _…there._ He planted his soles on the cold floor, staggered up to his feet and crawled-

No. He didn’t _stagger_ and _crawl._ It was barely Tuesday evening.

A chill sneaked in through the thin cotton of his t-shirt and boxers, bringing goosebumps along. Why was his new bedroom so cold? Why was everything suddenly freezing? It was barely the end of summer.

He _walked_ on with slow, deliberate steps - definitely not wobbling, dragging one foot in front of the other as if they’d tripled their weight during his nap.

Why on earth had they built the bathroom so far away?

He spotted Ryuu on the living room couch, chewing something. _There_ _’s a good boy, leaving the crime scene._

Take sneezed, eyes watering. Whoever had come up with the idea that chases in the rain were romantic clearly hadn’t met Little Mermaid. But he was fine. Perfectly fine, because he had work the next day. If he kept telling himself how healthy he was and how bright his life would be in this new place, he might end up believing it, somehow, and make it come true.

The water stopped on its own as soon as he cracked the bathroom door open. Well. He’d left the bed for nothing.

“Ah, Hirako-san. Congratulations on your new place.” The words bounced off the tiled walls. “They must be paying you quite well.”

Take paused. He thought he’d heard No Face. Which, of course, was impossible, thanks to all the precautions he’d taken.

“I hope you don’t mind me borrowing your shower,” the  voice drawled on, infuriating. “There’s some trouble with the hot water at home today, and since I was here anyway…”

Hearty lathering sounds followed.

The Dove rubbed his face just as vigorously, but things still made no sense.

“Won’t you wash my back?”

No matter how hard Take tried to process the verbal flood, he could only think of Kuramoto’s infamous ‘ _What the actual fuck?_ _’._

He padded (plodded) inside, shuffling into his bathroom slippers- _slipper._ The left one was missing. Ryuu’s work, obviously _._ The investigator gave up, shivering when his bare soles made contact with the gray tiles.

Steam rushed to greet him, despite the door meant to keep it confined to the bathing area. The partly-open door, that is, which also explained the wet patches on the floor.

He glared at the tall silhouette obscured by the frosted glass. New place, new ward _…_ and his dear old friend breaking in to help himself to Take’s hot water and splash it around freely.

“By the way, first class, you have terrible taste in personal hygiene products. Don’t they teach you Doves that chemicals are bad for your health and the environment? Or are you trying to use the synthetic stench as a ghoul-repellent?”

No Face the nature lover, concerned about Hirako’s well-being. What was the world coming to?

The water started running again, feeding the stray puddles. Take noticed the pile of clothes hanging on the towel rack as if they belonged there. Humans might be at their most vulnerable when naked, but a lack of garments only made it easier for ghouls to whip out their kagune and strike.

He needed Nagomi.

To repay No Face for all those thoughtful gifts. To arrest him and…become known to the world as ‘that dumb Dove who slipped and broke his neck in his own bathroom.’ His grandparents, who watched the news religiously, would be so proud of him.

Take sneezed again. _Fine._ He’d wait, then ambush the jerk in the hallway after he’d finished wasting his resources. Yeah. He caught himself nodding like an anime character with a Plan.

The shower stopped running, just as he was about to trudge away.

“Pass me the towel, will you?”

_Sure, pumpkin. Nagomi would love to pat you dry._

The intruder sighed, “I guess not.” A dripping arm flashed into vision, homing in on the dark green towel by the sink.

Pale flesh. Black nails.

A moment later, the frosted glass door slid fully open and No Face emerged in a herbal-scented cloud which seemed to fill the entire room.

_Ink._

“Why don’t we have a nice bath together and make up?”

Take stared, transfixed, his train of thought derailed.

“…be friends? No? All right, suit yourself.” The ghoul crept closer, inch by haunting inch. 

_Why?_

The Dove blinked a few times. It didn’t help much. The figure remained there, real and defiant, its magnificence doubled by the mirror behind it.

_Seven_ _…_

Nightmare fused with wettest dream, now another chiming step closer.

_Seven billion people in the whole world_ …It could’ve been anyone. A colleague. The sullen, silvery-haired barista at Anteiku who brewed the finest coffee. But _somebody_ had wanted a good laugh, so the Beautiful Stranger had to be _him._

Take braced himself against the washing machine until the world stopped lurching and dancing around him.

“Something wrong, first-class?”

Tattoos on a ghoul…he’d never suspected. The very thing No Face had been counting on when he’d staged everything, telltale designs covered up with gloves, high collars and questionable full body attires. And Take, like the lustful, absolute fool he was, had swallowed the bait whole, wishing for seconds, thirds and whatever else came next. Because why not, what was the harm in fantasizing about someone who might turn out to be your arch-enemy?

The intruder purred, “Do these look…familiar, perhaps?”  He traced the tattoos on his arms, lingered on the tribal sun on his left breast, and halted at the dotted belt above the hem of the towel around his hips.

_F-familiar?_ Serpentine filigrees and cryptic symbols, Take had memorized each and every fine detail he’d had the privilege of discovering in those anonymous photos. The subject of pining, contemplation and intensive, though fruitless research meant to decode them and their owner’s personality. An artist, maybe. A fascinating, dangerous rebel who lived far, far away. Someone with an exciting life, who travelled a lot.

_Not this nutcase._

“Is that where you keep your quinque these days or are you just happy to see me?” No Face sang out, his blazing gaze fixed on Take’s crotch. “How awfully unprofessional of you, Hirako-san.”

The investigator glanced down in shock and amazement. His boxers did nothing to conceal the treacherous bulge - the only undisciplined part of himself, all too eager to defy gravity and reason. 

_Still_ _…who the fuck showers with a mask on?_ _Does he sleep with it on, too?_ Hirako pictured the ghoul curled up in a nest high up in the rainforest canopy, beak resting neatly against bent knees.

“Take it off,” he blurted, addressing the other for the first time ever. Childish, unfiltered words he wished he could swallow back the moment their echo faded.

“My, how bold.” No Face tilted his head, amplifying the avian effect. “What about my modesty?”

Take tried not to laugh.

“But if you insist…” Slowly, almost coyly, the ghoul exposed his richly decorated back, the towel (one of Take’s finest) melting down at his feet. “You sure know how to set the right mood.”

The Dove swallowed thickly. His member throbbed. Rank, pride, sanity - he would have thrown them away for the freedom to kneel, taste and worship the ink curls hugging those mouthwatering thighs and ass cheeks.

“Your…your mask,” Take choked out eventually. His shaking hands clenched to his sides - longing to make intimate acquaintance with the smoothness of the other’s skin, to investigate, conquer and fill in Hirako’s mental map; longing for Nagomi’s strength to counter primitive urges.

“Hmm…I don’t know about that.” No Face absently traced the unreadable message he wore as a collar. His fingers tangled through dripping hair, slipping the mask off oh so slowly.

Before Take’s lungs could expand with another gulp of steamy air, his back met a tiled wall as sweaty as himself. Precise and merciless, a palm covered his eyes, denying him any chance to glimpse the ghoul’s face. His eyelids fluttered uselessly.

“Now…what’s in it for me, _Hira-Hira_?” The intruder’s hypnotic drawl hinted at thrilling, terrifying possibilities. “A small taste?” He skimmed the shell of Hirako’s ear with the tip of his tongue. “A bite?” He nipped the Dove’s earlobe before leaning to nuzzle his exposed throat.

Years of training kicked in and Take clawed at the hand blocking his sight. Its warmth seeped into his pores, making him harder still.

“No peeking,” the ghoul murmured, rubbing his soft cheek against Take’s clenched jaw with feline tenderness.

Why did it matter if he _saw_? He wouldn’t live to tell the tale, anyway. With head-butting out of question, the back of his head seemingly sealed to the wall, he tried to kick the other blindly.

No Face dodged. “Playing rough right off the bat, first class?”

The investigator’s automatic punches proved equally ineffective.

“And here I thought we were going to have our very first conversation. Please try to be civil for five minutes.”

Take wouldn’t, so his unseen opponent rewarded him by pinning his rubbery arms to the wall above his head with…something hot. Slippery. Slithering, faintly pulsating and much too convenient for certain lewd activities the Dove should have no knowledge of.

_Kagune._

No Face was using his unknown rc type appendages to restrain him…and Hirako prayed to whatever gods were available that the ghoul hadn’t caught on his mortifying excitement.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never wondered what it’d be like.”

Oh, but he had. All those fantasies of bashing No Face’s skull in. All those dreams of fucking the Stranger raw, of spreading himself open and giving in…and he’d ended up _here_. He held back a grin as he aimed his knee between the shapely legs he’d spent the past few months mooning over.

“I don’t think so,” No Face chuckled.

The Dove’s unfocused attack was instantly blocked, his strength no match for a fiend’s. A thigh slid between his legs, causing his humiliating erection to grind down against solid muscle with every move.

“Oh, Hira, humping my leg already? If you want me that badly, all you have to do is say so.”

_You wish._

Take grew still. Pressed against a wall by an outrageously handsome villain and getting absurdly aroused…He might as well replace the doe-eyed protagonist plastered on the covers of Sen Takatsuki’s overly sentimental novels. Maybe No Face was also a fan, like half the CCG, and they could enact the adventures of Whatever-kun, the part-time ghoul investigator terrified of pencil shavings.

The intruder cut off his muddled thoughts, closing the small gap between them. Hirako could hardly breathe anymore, engulfed in the heat bleeding through the thin layer of cotton separating their chests.

A warm hand cupped his cheek, a thumb brushed across his chapped lips. Take contemplated biting it, but then a pair of lips fitted over his - tentative at first, as if asking for permission, then more confident since the Dove failed to protest, his mind lagging miles behind.

He barely had time to register a hint of rounded coolness ( _A lip ring?_ ) when the ghoul’s tongue found its way into his unresisting mouth. It teased him with its studs and the fragrant bitterness of quality coffee, retreating with No Face’s quiet hum before the investigator could sink his teeth into it.

There was that delicate jingle again as the other shifted and replaced the knee between Take’s legs with his own bare groin and…

Oh, gods, his Stranger wanted him just as much, if only for the wrong-

_Fuck, fuck!_

The Dove’s hips jerked reflexively.

“Mind if I…?” No Face tugged at the hem of his t-shirt.

Hirako could form no reply, though, overwhelmed by his own enthusiasm.

A ripping sound signaled the end of the worn fabric. Fingers climbed up his ribcage, one step at a time. Nails raked over his freshly exposed nipples, making him tremble with the effort not to cum in his boxers.

“Burning up like this…is it a human thing, or are you particularly needy tonight… _Take-chan_?” 

He’d often tried to imagine what his Stranger sounded like, but he’d never been able to come up with something like this - raspy waves of sound lapping at his heightened senses. Even a name as common as his felt like the most intimate caress on No Face’s lips, just like ‘first class’ turned into a casual insult.

“I could eat you _all_ up,” the ghoul confessed, tireless in his obscene undulating. “Bit - by - fucking - bit.”  He sucked at the throbbing pulse point on Take’s throat, branding it with a series of unhurried kisses. “But you’re far too precious.” He licked a few drops of sweat tumbling down the man’s neck.

“…why?” Take gasped.

No Face pulled back a little. To get a better view? Possibly. To gloat over his prey’s reactions? Most likely. “Because you’re lovely.” He caressed Hirako’s damp chest, his touch firm but reverent. “Brave, strong. Beautiful...”

Take snorted. _You mean scarred, ordinary as dirt and boring as fuck._

“And you give yourself way too little credit,” the low purr continued to weave its spell, every word tingling under the Dove’s skin and settling in his painfully rigid cock. No Face dipped his head. Wet locks tickled as he connected the old scars sprinkled across Take’s chest with long swipes of his tongue. “These look like the work of my kind.”

The investigator shuddered, captive between the chill of the wall and the surreal heat he couldn’t get enough of.

“Such a shame you’re always hiding everything under your ugly clothes.” Small kisses followed, playful nips. “Should I stop?”

_Y- no! Don_ _’t stop!_ Hirako sucked in a breath.

No Face insisted, “Tell me, and I will. I promise.”

The Dove opened his mouth, but no half-hearted lies were brave enough to stand against the sharp reality of his lust.

“I’m sure you know how important communication is for a happy relationship.” No Face’s cunning tongue circled  Take’s right nipple while his free hand toyed with the left  one. “I heard you that day, chuckling after you watched my little video. It got me so excited…like being praised by a customer, only much better.”

_Customer_ _…what?_ “You…need help.”

“Look who’s talking,” the intruder cooed. “You’re at the mercy of an oh so dangerous ghoul…and ready to burst. I know you could break free if you really wanted to, but you’re not even trying.”

_Oh._

_Good point._

He was supposed to capture No Face, not get swept away by his dubious charms. Hirako tried to resume his struggle. Teeth grazed his stiff nipple and twisted it with sublime harshness until he was arching, breathless, lost in the overheated visions behind his eyelids. 

“Mmm, Take-chan…Are you a masochist?” No Face’s breath ghosted over the wet, oversensitive nub. He focused on its pair and delivered the same sensual treatment.

Take groaned, teetering on the bright edge of release. His fists clenched, growing numb in their glowing kagune cage…and then they were released, and pierced lips met his once again, their gentleness startling, their pressure irresistible. Urging him to yield, to indulge in an almost forgotten delight and savor the other male’s taste, his humming, the glide of their _…nngh!…_ yes, yes, his Beautiful Stranger, his-

_No Face._

He was kissing No Face back. Dry humping him. _Damn it all!_

The Dove jerked his head to the side. The palm covering his eyes followed his movement, but at least their mouths were no longer connected.

“L-let go,” Hirako panted. _Before I lose my mind completely and drag you to bed._

The grinding halted. “You first.”

Several confused moments later, Take _realized_. Free for a while now, his hands had decided on their own that No Face’s ass was the perfect thing to knead.

He froze in the act, heart stuttering. He didn’t pull back - couldn’t. It might be his only opportunity. A tiny part of him kept firing frantic alarm signals which got distorted somewhere along the way. _Push_ became _drag closer;_ _fight_ turned into _cling, cling!_

No Face laughed. “Easy there. Breathe.”

How? What about his duty? Payback? What would his squad say? Ui? Arima? And why couldn’t Hirako and No Face be just regular Tokyo citizens fooling around for this one night?

“Relax, Take-chan. This will be our filthy little secret.” The ghoul kissed the tip of his nose before licking his lips and invading his mouth once more.

_When in doubt_ … _grope harder_ , according to Take’s faulty defense mechanisms. Cautious and curious, his hands wandered up the ghoul’s chest, down his belly. Determined to experience every plain and ridge he wasn’t allowed to see anymore; desperate to make enough memories to last him for the rest of his life, whatever remained of it. Years, days… _minutes_ , if No Face changed his mind - he probably would, which should save Hirako the trouble of explaining himself to the CCG.

Gripping the ghoul’s hipbones felt natural, the perfect response to their twining tongues and merging breaths.

No Face pulled back a fraction to murmur, “Let’s try something.”

Take grunted, not sure and not caring what exactly he was agreeing to as long as the guilty pleasure didn’t stop. The sudden draught alerted him that his precum-sticky underwear had ended up around his ankles.

“My, what big balls you have. So full…when did you last unload?” No Face weighed the Dove’s sack in his palm, massaging it expertly while ignoring his shaft. “Holding it all in isn’t healthy. I should send you more photos.”

Hirako tried to steady his breathing. His head spun faster than an origami windmill caught in a thunderstorm.

“Was it good?” the ghoul whispered. “Jacking it while drooling over naked pics of me? How many times have they helped you get off?”

_More than you can imagine._ “Never.”

“Liar.”

The sultry murmur caused Take’s neglected member to twitch. No Face caught it between two fingers and started gliding the foreskin up and down the swollen organ. “I wonder…do you make any sounds when you cum, or are you just as quiet as always?”

_Keep teasing me like this and you_ _’ll find out soon._

As if heeding his unspoken challenge, No Face brought their groins closer still, their sacks brushing as he held their lengths together and stroked them lazily. Take gasped, reveling in his unique texture. He dug his nails into the other’s thighs. _Too hot. Too slippery_.

“Feel them?”

_Too_ _…bumpy._ But ghoul anatomy wasn’t that different. Was it?

No Face guided Hirako’s hand between them and the Dove got his answer.

_Piercings._

Gods, he was riddled. And Take was tempted to count them with his lips. “…insane.”

 “Thank you.” No Face smiled against the investigator’s stubbly cheek, stroking their joined shafts with renewed dedication. “I’m glad you like my new ladder. I thought of you when I got it.”

_Sentimental idiot._ Take inhaled sharply, his balls tightening up with every twist and tug. He rolled his hips faster, following the rhythm set by No Face - thrusting up into the blissful grip of his fist, seeking more, _more_ …just a little more of that mind-numbing friction…

And then he’d fetch his quinque.

He would. And…he’d put an end to this sordid business. Once and for all. _Oh, yes_ _…yes!_ Just a bit longer, so that the Dove could grasp the novelty of it and fiddle with the rings sealing the taut sack, encouraged by the ghoul’s breathy moans. His other hand crept up, settling into strands of wet silk.

“That’s it, Take-chan…pull harder.”

He obliged, delirious, tugging at the uneven locks. He was still expecting a bite, which failed to come as their mouths clashed hungrily. Sensations kept coiling, loop upon electrifying loop, until delicious contractions took over and seed gushed out of him.

Pulse pounded in his ears, drowning out No Face chanting, ‘Yes, yes!’. Distantly, Take felt a splatter on his belly. He sagged against the wall, spent and strangely satisfied.

The unseen world faded slowly.

 

***

 

_Pouring again, huh?_

Take stirred, and realized he couldn’t move much. He couldn’t breathe, either.

He twisted, dislodging the weight on his chest. It yelped, shifted and began licking his face.

“Ryuu, down. Down!”

The dog ignored him, of course. The Dove managed to break out of his smothering cocoon like a lazy caterpillar who had given up on becoming a butterfly because it involved too much effort. Evading his shiba inu’s attentions, he snatched a wad of paper tissues from the nightstand drawer.

He blew his nose thoroughly, then stumbled out of bed. Memories of his vivid dream clung to him tighter than his soaked clothes. Getting romanced in the bathroom by No-Face-the-Beautiful-Stranger? Honestly, the things his sleeping mind could produce.

Take peeled off his pajama bottoms and the white tank top he couldn’t remember buying, its fabric decadently soft and its scent so strong and foreign that even his half-stuffy nostrils could detect it.

He picked at the loops decorating the garment. How strange. He definitely hadn’t chosen this design. Maybe it was a long-forgotten gift from-

He turned abruptly and rushed to the nightstand for another fistful of tissues, noticing the clutter. A teapot he didn’t recognize. A mug he rarely used. A jar full of something repulsive. A written note, barely legible in the early morning light.

_‘Rest well, Take-chan. I walked and fed your dragon-dog for you. Looking forward to a rematch soon_ ♥ _._ _’_ Signed, a familiar doodle.

He read the words over and over. He counted his limbs. He counted them again, and again, for good measure, awed that nothing was missing. No Face’s soft spot for him had to be the size of the twentieth ward. _A rematch?_ He glared down at his hardening member.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

He trudged into the bathroom, where the mirror revealed plenty of interesting details: hickeys, bite marks and…one spectacularly shaved off eyebrow.

How fashionable.

A simple, effective way to improve his chronic blandness. Take’s laughter soon turned into coughing.

The green towel was still lying on the tiles where the ghoul had left it. Was the Dove supposed to burn the thing, along with the tank top? Present it as evidence and explain how he got it? _It_ _’s not like we’re fuck buddies or anything, but No Face just happened to shower at my place yesterday._

After a shower which had failed to purify his filthy thoughts, he plodded back to bed. He eyed the sealed jar - quality, expensive pickled plums.

_Revolting_.

He devoured a sour, wrinkled handful anyway, too starved to forage for anything else, before pouring himself a mug of whatever No Face had taken the trouble to brew for him. It was cold, looked like dishwater and almost smelled like ginger. He gulped it down, parched, the worst and best tea ever.

Ryuu sneaked closer when he saw Take chewing, sniffing briefly at his empty hand. He snuggled against him, and the investigator petted him for a while as he listened to the storm having its way outside.

Funny guy, No Face. Creative, too. First he courted Take with visits and presents, then he seduced and jacked him off… He even offered him a surprise makeover, bundled him up in fluffy blankets and left him food with medicinal qualities. Too bad Hirako had more or less fallen asleep in his arms before they could actually-

_No._

He should be focusing on locking him up in Cochlea, not on what-ifs and tumbling in the sheets.

Take rubbed his face with a sigh, fingers irresistibly drawn to the small bald patch above his left eye. He could cover up his dashing new look with band-aids. Even the missing eyebrow - especially that one. Yes. He could get ready for an exciting day of paperwork peppered with ‘Ooh, Hirako-san! Did Little Mermaid attack you while you were out buying toilet paper?’.

Or he could just hibernate with Ryuu.

He waited for another coughing fit to subside, then pulled the covers over himself and his drowsy pet. He picked up the phone and spent a few long minutes to prepare his excuse.

“Hello, Kuramoto…No, this is Hirako. I’ve got the flu so I’m staying at home for the rest of the week…No, it’s all right, please don’t visit…There’s no need for that, either. Just make the appropriate excuses for my absence. I’ll sort things out once I get back. Thank you.”

 

 


	8. Senbei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Face was back for their rematch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, folks, there's some porn ahead. also, be warned that this is just part 1 in the grander scheme of things.

Take studied the crooked rows of white lumps sprawling across the baking sheet. Something had gone wrong, obviously. But what? Too much water? Not enough sweet rice flour? Wrong type of rice, since the grains wouldn’t stick together? Well…he’d tried.

He glanced down at his furry assistant. Ryuu wagged his tail in anticipation, whining softly. He wouldn’t be complaining, as long as he received his generous share (and a few extra bits). _Unlike grandmother._

Take sighed and slid the sheet into the preheated oven. Glazing? It would improve the taste…if done right. He didn’t trust himself with the delicate task, though, so he heaped the dirty dishes into the sink instead. His dog didn’t like soy sauce, anyway, fact confirmed by his startling bark.

The investigator turned around to chide his impatient pet and-

He saw No Face waving at him outside the open window.

“Mind if I join you?” He invaded Take’s small kitchen without waiting for a reply, and made himself comfortable on the narrow windowsill. Booted feet dangled carelessly above cream floor tiles. “It’s nice to see you up and about again, Hira-Hira.” He leaned down to pet the shiba inu who was jumping on the ghoul’s long legs, curly tail waving.

_Little traitor._

Take couldn’t even fail in peace at baking, could he? Grudgingly, he started scrubbing a large bowl. Perhaps his attention-loving intruder would just vanish into the night if ignored for long enough. The investigator rinsed the piece of crockery, set it on the dish rack, then checked discreetly.

No Face was still there.

Still as the sink Take was busying himself at and just as patient, he was watching the Dove’s every gesture - struck speechless by the scene of a human with a single eyebrow washing up in his undershirt, worn shorts and Ryuu-mangled slippers. Who wouldn’t be?

Hirako grabbed a plate, determined to deny his hooded admirer’s existence. He rubbed at the cold ceramic as if it could fulfill his wishes.

_Make him go away._

_Make him stay and_ _…_

Silence accumulated, thicker than the dust Take had yet to wipe away, and more vexing than the ghoul’s typical comments. The Dove chanced another peek.

Still there. Still staring.

Their eyes met. There was a new depth in those ever-glowing irises, a hunger which matched the feverish enthusiasm Take had stroked himself with during the past few days, trying in vain to mimic No Face’s touch. 

Heat flared in his belly. He tore his gaze away, slightly embarrassed by the attention his inconvenient audience was lavishing on him. Was the ghoul plotting something? Were owls just as intense before they swooped down on their squeaky prey?

Hirako squashed the foamy sponge in his fist. _Better yet, make me disappear along with these dirty little thrills._ He tried to focus on the soothing aroma of baked rice. They’d had their fun, yes - filthy, glorious moments still so sharp in his mind, suffused with the memory of No Face’s breathy voice and the chiming of his loops. And he’d survived. Which should be more than enough-

The intruder was suddenly by his feet, crouching in front of the oven. Ryuu followed suit, the ghoul’s faithful lieutenant.

“What are you cooking here, first class?” Unblinking red eyes looked up at Take in genuine curiosity from somewhere near his knees.

The Dove managed not to flinch. He found himself answering, “Senbei.”

“Hmm?”

No Face’s cargo pants pockets were bulging like chipmunk jaws. Hirako wished he hadn’t left Nagomi in the bedroom. There was a kitchen knife on the dish-rack, though. But maybe it was time for a different strategy. Where violence and denial had failed, words might succeed. If he kept talking, the ghoul’s interest would hopefully be satisfied, and he’d crawl back into whatever hole he’d emerged from. _And stay there._

“Rice snacks,” Take explained. Something even an amateur like him could have pulled off, if only he hadn’t replaced half the ingredients in his grandmother’s recipe with whatever he’d had available.

“What do they taste like?”

No insulting remarks? No rude comments or inappropriate moves?

“These ones are salty and crunchy,” the Dove replied. He thought he’d heard the other mumble something disturbingly similar to ‘fingers’, ‘toes’ and ‘ears’ while petting Ryuu’s panting head.

“Ah…that reminds me…” No Face produced a small box and held it out proudly. “It’s a delicacy full of …” he read the label, “minerals and…” He paused, probably thanks to some difficult kanji. “…whatnot.”

So were rocks, but people didn’t swallow them.

“They say anything tastes better with a dash of natto,” the ghoul sang out when the investigator made no move to reach for the present.

“You’ve been grossly misinformed,” Take mumbled. His attention returned to the dwindling pile of dishes.

The other consulted the label once again and recited, “…vitamins, enzymes essential for a healthy diet…organic…large soy beans. Mm, yeah, soy…very good.” His drawl made even nutritional facts sound like an intimate confession. “They’re those red things that grow on trees, right?”

The spell shattered. “Yes, and they chirp in the summer.”

“Oh?”

Hirako nodded, making sure to keep his breathing even and his face blank, despite the laughter raging within.

“I had no idea human food could be so interesting,” No Face confessed.

_And I had no idea you could be such a clueless ass._

The ghoul shook the box next to a pierced ear, listening carefully. “Just a bite, Hira-Hira?”

“Eat it yourself.”

“Don’t be mean. I would if I could.” No Face unsealed the gift and peered at the sticky mess within. Ryuu whined, padding away from him and the yeasty smell of fermented soy beans - the only thing capable of ending their profitable association, apparently. The ghoul slammed the lid back on. “Oops. They must’ve gone bad.”

_If only._

The intruder got up and stretched lazily before strolling to the fridge. He inspected its contents with a tut, “So empty. You should feed yourself properly.” The light spilling out lent a delicate glow to his mask and earring collection.

Take wondered what his lip piercing would look like. Or the lips it was attached to.

“Good thing I brought these.” No Face shoved the natto box inside the fridge for Take to enjoy later. He started exploring the bottomless depths of his pockets, fishing out a large jar of…natto miso? _Seriously?_ Then two jars of pickled plums, eager to populate the nearly bare shelves, and a larger, unlabeled container full of who knew what other sort of disgusting things. The Dove wouldn't venture a guess.

 _Up to something, indeed._ It almost seemed that this time No Face had conspired with Take’s own grandparents. “Stop bringing me junk.”

“They’re nourishing, first class. We need to build up your stamina.”

What stamina? He didn’t need-

_Wait._

No Face didn’t actually mean…?

To his relief, the ghoul resumed his dutiful watch by the oven. Ryuu joined him once again, now that the threat to his oversensitive nostrils was gone. A black fingernail tapped on the lit window. “They’re turning dark.”

Were they? Checking implied getting near. It also made the difference between crispy and charred. Take couldn’t let No Face get between him and his senbei. Reluctantly, he dried his hands off, picking up a potholder and a fork - sadly, the knife would have to wait. “Move over.”

The other shifted slightly, allowing him just enough space to pull out the metal sheet. “Are they done?” He leaned forward to get a better view, pulling off his hood as the waves of fragrant heat blew out of the oven.

Hirako didn’t answer, too distracted by the glossy locks covering the right half of No Face’s head. He remembered the way they had slid wetly between his shaky fingers, the way pulling them had tipped the ghoul over the edge. Dry now, they looked even softer - more accommodating. He was close enough to undo that small pony tail and do it again…

_No._

The Dove prodded vengefully at his culinary masterpieces. They wouldn’t budge (unless crumbling counted), because the cookie sheet was just about as non-stick as Ryuu’s fluttering tail. It served him right for being too cheap to invest in baking paper. He kept fussing uncertainly over the flaky things instead of entertaining his audience with an elegant number of flip-the-senbei-over. Not that he had any reason to impress anyone.

“Looks fun. Can I try, too?”

 _And make an even bigger mess?_ Take dodged the hand reaching for his fork.

“Come on…”

“No.” The investigator slammed the sheet back into the oven and retreated to the sink.

Ryuu whimpered, disappointed. No Face patted his orange fur soothingly. “Are they supposed to reek like this, Hira?”

There it was, the insult. Somehow it still managed to surprise Take. “What do they smell like to you?”

The ghoul considered it for a while, head cocked to the side. “Kinda rubbery.” The beak of his mask almost touched the tempered glass pane standing between him and the human snacks. “It must be nice, being able to eat almost anything.” His hushed voice carried the faintest hint of longing.

Take tried not to imagine the daily life of someone whose legal gastronomic range revolved around CCG’s products (bland as rainwater) and Tsukiyama’s _Robusta Ol_ _é_ ( _Mild_ or _Fortissimo_ ) _._

Another silence stretched like overchewed gum.

Hirako rinsed the last plate and made a show of scrubbing the fork he’d used earlier. He was a busy man, of course, completely unfazed by attractive intruders and definitely not keeping a furtive eye on them.

“I like your shorts,” No Face mused, kakugan wide under his mask as he gazed up innocently at the investigator.

Take eyed him suspiciously. He steered his thoughts away from another, more pleasant way the ghoul could be using his mouth - away from all the interesting things No Face could be doing on his knees instead of wasting his breath.

“It makes your pretty ass stand out,” a voice purred in his left ear, just as the Dove had the distinct feeling that said garment was sliding down.

_When-?_

Arms encircled his waist, a firm chest pressed against his back. His body lit up instantly. No Face was back for their _rematch._

“Need some… _help_ , Hira-Hira?”

 _Not the kind I should be asking you for._ Take dropped the soapy fork and reached out for the kitchen knife. His other hand fought to keep his shorts in place - damn No Face and his inhuman speed for undoing the drawstring. Heat or no heat, the Dove had been a fool for leaving the window open; for letting his guard down, and secretly hoping there would be _more._

The ghoul rested his head on Hirako’s right shoulder, his mask pleasantly cool against the man’s hot cheek. “You know that won’t work,” he murmured.

It might. Even ordinary steel could be a nuisance if Take aimed well. Besides, he wasn’t prepared to relinquish the comfort of old habits.

“So tense…” No Face rubbed the Dove’s sides, encouraging him to relax.

Take squirmed.

The embrace grew tighter and the ghoul moaned, “Mmm…don’t stop.”  

The low, silky sound had Hirako’s member stiffening against his unruly shorts. He stilled, cursing himself. He’d actually been grinding his ass right into the pervert’s groin. _Way to go._ He raised the knife. Hesitated.

A heavily tattooed hand crept into the picture. It pounced on his white knuckles, pinning his fist to the edge of the sink.

“This Dove and ghoul act is getting a bit old, don’t you think?” A thumb slid deftly under Take’s wrist in search for the pressure point. No Face squeezed and the investigator’s weapon clattered down into the sink, where it settled beside the abandoned fork. Long fingers twined with Hirako’s, holding them in place. “I can think of more fun ways to spend our precious time together.”

Dazed, Take stared down at their joined hands. They…fit together nicely. What was he to No Face? Did the creep always go so far with his playthings? He turned, as much as the overly affectionate hold allowed it. His cold chose that moment to make a reappearance, though. A deeply satisfying sneeze burst out of him.

No Face ducked, unfortunately.

“Edgy,” the ghoul chuckled. “We’ll call it ‘the sneeze is mightier than the kitchen knife’.” He pushed his mask slightly to the side and started kissing the unhealed hickeys on Take’s neck.

More drops of moisture budded on the Dove’s skin. More blood rushed to his groin as every brush of those pierced lips stirred pornographic memories.

Humming, No Face sneaked a hand under Take’s damp t-shirt and suggested, “Why don’t we play a little?”

Hirako’s lonely cock throbbed. Play? Sure. But would he survive the experience? The ghoul had been quite thoughtful last time, in his own bizarre idea of nursing him. But if he got too enthusiastic and forgot to hold back…

A large palm blanketed the spot above Take’s heart, soaking up its wild drumming. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you, Hira?”

 _Oh, yes._ The investigator risked letting go of his waistband. He grabbed the beak and tugged.

“Naughty.” No Face pried Take’s hand away before the Dove could pull the tasteless mask off. “How about…” he guided it to the seat of his own oversized pants, “…this fine piece of ass?”

Hirako’s pulse rocketed.

 “You’d like that, hmm?” No Face purred in his ear, chin still resting on his shoulder. His roaming hand reached a nipple and pinched it. “You seemed so fixated on it last time. Now’s your chance to get some.”

The Dove remained quiet as the other continued to tease his pert buds. It would be so easy to give in to the unforgettable pleasure only No Face could deliver. To play along.

_To pretend._

Yes. He’d trick him into relaxing his grip. Distract, then subdue him. Hand him over to the CCG. Take started to rock slowly, fondling the fabric-clad muscles. He needed little encouragement to do so, anyway.

“Oh…that’s it…” the ghoul encouraged him huskily.

 _Yeah, that_ _’s it. Just an act_. No matter how delightful it was - the feeling of a clothed erection pressing against him, the subtle flexing of ass cheeks. The Dove snapped his fingers discreetly, giving The Signal. Ryuu took off, just like they’d been practicing.

Oblivious to this exchange, No Face untangled their fingers and caressed Hirako’s biceps. His pierced tongue traced the man’s jaw, tasted the salty skin of his throat.  “I can’t wait for you to hold me in your brawny arms.”

 _Corny fucker_. “You’re just…talking shit,” Take replied, using his newly-freed hand to grab the edge of the countertop. Nothing like a solid piece of laminate to help him retain his sanity until trusty ol’ Ryuu returned with Nagomi.

“Me? I wouldn’t dream of it.” No Face twisted the Dove’s left nipple goodbye before venturing lower, past his navel…to… _oh, gods_ …take his time tracing the outline of his straining cock.

Take shivered. His vision blurred with every feathery touch. _Ryuu, hurry up!_

“Oh, my…whatever am I going to do?” the ghoul exhaled against Hirako’s damp neck. “You’re so hard at the mere suggestion of having me panting under you.” His thumb circled the tip through precum-wet fabric.

Take gritted his teeth. _Ryuu-_

The clicking of claws on tiles rekindled his hope. Finally. His hero was back with…his empty food bowl. _Silly, silly glutton! Where the fuck_ _’s Nagomi? What happened to all our training?_

The shiba inu deposited the dish at their feet, proud of himself, then sat back on his haunches. He regarded them expectantly, demanding his well-deserved share of rice crackers.

“Aww, such a good boy,” No Face praised the smug dog. “Nice trick.” He didn’t pause in his attentions as he threw him a brown lump from one of his endless supply of pockets.

Ryuu snatched it midair and dashed into the living room, in case they changed their mind.

“What did you feed him?”

“No worries, Take-chan, it’s just a little treat to keep him busy.”

“You’re spoiling him.”

“Don’t be jealous, it’s your turn next.” The ghoul freed his own cock and nudged Hirako’s shorts down his thighs in one fluid motion. “No underwear, huh. Were you expecting me?” He cupped him tenderly. “What a nice, fat cock you’ve got, first class…”

It was absolutely average, actually, just like the rest of Take. Still, the Dove felt flattered.

“I wonder what it’ll feel like, making its way deep inside me. Will it slide right in? Will you have the patience to work your way in, inch by inch? No, I’m sure you’d be so eager you’d forget yourself and just slam it in balls deep.”

Probably. Take closed his eyes, but the flood of erotic images went on. To have No damn Face naked and moaning under him, his inked rear stuck up in the air, ready for the taking…He kneaded the ghoul’s hard muscles more vigorously, grateful that the fabric barrier between them had been lifted.

Clever fingers curled around the Dove’s shaft - barely there, neither squeezing nor moving. A teasing presence which left him breathless, hungrier and more desperate, just like the crude words.

“Dying to pin me down and own my ass?”

“Not…really,” Hirako lied, the corners of his mouth twitching with a barely repressed smile.

“Ah…then can I fuck you?” No Face offered a suggestive thrust and a teasing bite. His piercings chimed softly against the man’s bottom.

_Yes. Yes! Bend me over and fuck me raw!_

“I could make you scream, Take-chan, see how much you can take before you fall apart.” A pair of fingers slipped between their bodies and started massaging the Dove’s sack from behind.

“Can you be any more vulgar?” Hirako murmured, grinding back against the expert fingers and the hot, slippery rod of flesh nestled between his ass cheeks.

“Oh…want me to?” The airy strokes continued, punctuated by the occasional slap to his rear. “I could spend hours eating your ass.”

_Literally?_

“I’d get your hole so wet..” No Face went on, igniting the investigator further. “Squelching with every thrust…nngh…You’d just love to be split open by my cock, wouldn’t you? And then I’d empty my balls deep inside you, leave you gaping and dripping with my cum.”

 _Fuck yeah!_ He’d abandon all duty and surrender to-

Take’s eyes flew open. Frustrated, he slapped away the ghoul’s teasing hand and elbowed him in the gut. It connected, surprisingly, winning him enough room to lift his shorts and awkwardly tuck himself back in. He turned around.

“Aww, Hira, still playing hard to get?”

“Fuck off.”

“But you want it,” No Face pointed out. He grabbed his jingling balls and started stroking himself slowly.

“I can’t,” Take grunted, mouth dry and thought process foggy with lust. Facing temptation directly had been a mistake.

“Why?”

“Because you belong in Cochlea, not in my pants.”

“Tsk. Ever dutiful, first class Hirako. But what about Take the man? Doesn’t he deserve a little fun after…mm…working so hard?”

If No Face imagined he’d give in to something as base as lust…he was damn right. Take still needed a convenient excuse, though. Like Tuesday’s fever.

The ghoul sighed. He let his head fall back, exposing the cryptic message around his throat. “Your Little Mermaid case is pretty much a dead end.”

_…what?_

“But with a few leads, you could finally wrap it up and bury it in the archives.”

_How does he know that?_

“I don’t usually reveal my…aah…clients’ secrets, just like you don’t go out of your way to screw blacklisted ghouls…”

Clients, again? Whoever they were, Take pitied them.

“But if one of CCG’s finest were to interrogate me very…very thoroughly,” No Face paused to tug at the metal loops adorning his sack, “I might just let a few bits of info slip.”

Take’s heart skipped a few beats. The other was offering him the perfect excus- no, _assistance._ In exchange for…?

“You’d have to make it worth my while, of course.”

Eyes fixed on the ghoul’s hypnotic motions, the Dove pretended he was thinking it over. An overdue ending to the Mermaid fiasco. Moving on to an important case. Fulfilling his Beautiful Stranger fantasy. He couldn’t believe his luck.

“So, won’t you _interrogate_ me?”

_Gods, yes!_

“Bedroom,” Hirako panted. Belatedly, he reached for the oven and turned it off. No point in burning the senbei he might not live long enough to eat.

“So wild,” No Face laughed. He snatched Take’s sweaty hand and pulled him along.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did I say no cliffhangers? oops  
> next chapter should be up sooner. ~~or not~~  
>  thanks for bearing with me :D


	9. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not knowing what’s going to happen next…a kiss…a bite…isn’t it exciting?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year to all those celebrating it now! here, have some utake porn.

Take flicked the nightstand lamp on as soon as his back hit the blessedly cool (and clean) bedsheets.

“So you like to watch, first class…”

The Dove braced himself, but the tall figure standing at the foot of his bed made no move to pounce on him.

“Then…why don’t I…entertain you for a while?” No Face unzipped his coat smoothly. He slid it off and folded it neatly over the back of a nearby chair.

Take tried not to dwell on the eye-watering patterns of the shirt underneath. He focused lower, on the way the ghoul’s hard cock and chiming sack were hanging out of his cargo pants. The man’s gaze was soon drawn upwards, though. No Face’s thumb and forefinger were delicately twisting each shirt button out of its hole, as if the tiny plastic circles were something precious and fragile.

Hirako envied them.

He wished that his own nipples were the ones to receive all that loving attention - caught between those long, slim fingers which could make even chopping onions look like a form of art. He wished that he’d just stop being so damn foolish. No fucking Face was putting on a show just for _him_ , and he was getting all excited.

_How quickly things have changed._

A week ago the sight of the blacklisted ghoul in his bedroom would have made Take scramble for Nagomi. Tonight, though…The Dove swallowed thickly, ignoring the persistent throbbing between his legs.

Done with the lucky buttons, the inked fingers were now strolling down the avenue between partly visible pecs.

“Anything you like?” No Face purred when he caught Take ogling him. “How about a taste?” Inching closer, the ghoul gripped his own erection and pumped it a few times, just like he had done in the kitchen earlier. He shook his sack lightly to make the loops chime, showing off his goods to the captivated investigator. “Have your pick, Hira.”

Take stared. He’d held those balls in his palm. He’d…well, it was probably the golden lamplight which made every glimmering detail seem even more enticing. _Surreal_. If he knelt, he might just be able to have that small taste…

_Which would hardly be enough._

He could devote the rest of his life to learning the network of prominent veins on the ghoul’s member, worshiping his metal-ridden balls.

“No? Too bad.” No Face stopped fondling himself. He peeled the shirt off his shoulders, spun on his heels and laid it over his coat, then slipped his cargo pants down along with… _oh, gods_.

He was actually wearing a zebra-patterned thong.

Take rose on his elbows to get a better view. _Oh, yes_. A dainty collection of striped strings sliding down the ghoul’s wriggling ass and toned thighs…a few caresses sneaked in, to taunt him and emphasize the firm roundness of those tattooed ass cheeks, in case the Dove had somehow missed it - No Face was making sure to show off his full glory.

The ghoul bent over, turning the act of removing his boots into a sensual display. Dark designs shifting under pale skin…

Hirako watched in awe. His mouth went drier when he noticed the insolent gleam between No Face’s buttocks. Something small. Metallic. A loop, like a…handle?

_Cocky fucker, always prepared for anything._

No Face fussed with his clothes a little longer, drawing out the simple process of undressing as if he were alone in the room and had all the time in the world - taking advantage of the position to flaunt his assets some more. He straightened his back leisurely and turned around, scarlet eyes amused by Take’s keen interest.

“Sorry for the wait, first class,” he cooed insincerely as he finally deigned to join the Dove on the huge bed, prowling on all fours like a giant feline with large, incandescent eyes. He paused by Take’s feet, palm resting on the man’s ankle.

They watched each other silently. No Face’s fingers kept slithering upwards, whisper-light, careful to avoid Hirako’s stiff member. They reached the frayed hem of his undershirt and tugged.

“Don’t tear it off his time,” the Dove warned.

“I did you a favor, actually. I don’t know how you can stand these awful things,” No Face complained, but pulled off the worn garment when the investigator lifted his arms.

“Look who’s talking.” Take glanced at the clothes piled up on the chair. He raised his hips, allowing the other to strip him - trying not to seem too eager, too happy to be fully naked.

“We should go shopping sometime and fix your wardrobe,” No Face offered, dropping the Dove’s shorts down by the bed. He ran a finger down Take’s newly-freed shaft, humming with delight. The investigator shuddered. “I know just the lingerie shop that will do you justice.”

Lace and frills? Garters and stockings? Disturbing patterns to make Hirako look even plainer?

“No thanks.” _Unlike you, I don_ _’t have a knack for parading in skimpy undergarments._

“Now…let’s see…” No Face mused, unperturbed by Take’s refusal. His thumb circled one of the Dove’s pebbled nipples.

Hirako bucked reflexively into the fingers barely touching him. _So much for playing it cool_. He gazed up into the ghoul’s eyes, hooded beneath the bird-like mask. They held no trace of mockery.

Encouraged, the Dove managed to sit up. He placed a hand on No Face’s knee. It seemed safe enough.

_Safe?_ _Hah._

Take’s hand crept up shyly, following the curve of a hipbone. Its pair joined it soon. Together they wandered up past the dotted belt, mapping the ghoul’s chest. _So smooth, everywhere_ _…_ How much time did No Face spend grooming himself? Maybe he’d put in extra effort for Hirako?

The Dove became sharply aware of his own coarse body hairs. He’d never considered trimming. Who cared, anyway? Heck, he barely had the energy to shave in the mornings.

No Face didn’t look unhappy with that, though. In fact, he was watching Take’s explorations with great interest while continuing his own.

_Damn. We're supposed to fuck, not be all lovey-dovey._

“Condoms,” Hirako grumbled, still self-conscious.

“Ghouls are as healthy as they come.”

“I don’t know how many people you’ve been with.”

“I don’t, either. But tonight I’ve been saving myself especially for you, Take-chan.”

_Lucky you. At least nobody calls you_ _‘Sakura-chan-why’d-ya-leave-me-baby’ while sobbing all over you because they’re way drunker than they seemed at the bar._

“What about the other nights?”

The ghoul chuckled. “Oh, you were always in my thoughts”

He just had to ask, didn’t he? It must’ve been really nice to be one of those people free to screw No Face - to have such a thrilling sex life. The ghoul’s promiscuous antics had to be a lot more entertaining than any x-rated film.

“Ok,” No Face yielded, pulling back a little. “If it makes you feel better…”

_Not really_. A thin sheath of latex wouldn’t be much help if the ghoul got hungry afterwards.

Still, the Dove reached for the nightstand. He paused when he saw Nagomi lying by the bed.

He could still change his mind.

The chances of No Face actually telling him something useful about Little Mermaid were slimmer than the condom Take insisted on wearing.

_Up or down?_

There should’ve been no room for doubt. Except there was. A roomful of doubts. _And lust._ Hirako’s shaky hand could slip down to the quinque case, yes. He could definitely grab the weapon - resume their game. But that wouldn’t feel nowhere near as good as being touched by the ghoul.

_Fuck or fight?_

Playful and ticklish, a tongue followed Take’s treasure trail and dipped into his navel, helping him decide. He glanced down at the glowing eyes regarding him through the lower pair of mask holes.

Had Nagomi ever helped him get laid?

Hirako’s searching hand reached the drawer, at last. He fumbled inside, fishing out the half-empty bottle of lube and the small, unopened condom box he kept there like the hopeful idiot he was. He dropped them on the bed, though, as the frisky tongue dived, swiping at his leaking tip. He tried to protest, but yielded with a relieved sigh a few licks later, and closed his eyes.

Nagomi could wait.

Everything could, when the ghoul’s lips were closing around his engorged cock. Take was a simple man with simple needs, after all.

Kneeling beside the Dove, inked bottom in the air, No Face started sucking him gently. Take glimpsed his pierced lips, sliding up and down his length. He had the urge to kiss them, surprised that he was missing their touch.

Teeth scraped his shaft teasingly, pulling his foreskin along.

“If you bite…” the investigator exhaled, seized by a sudden wave of panic at the sight of his member vanishing into the ghoul’s mouth.

Mask slightly askew, No Face grinned around his cock. He teased his balls with his tongue a few times before pulling back enough to purr, “Tempting.” He insinuated himself between Take’s legs and propped himself up on his elbows. His loops jingled as he wriggled his rear for effect. “But then how would I be able to savour this over…and over…again?” His tongue homed in on the flushed glans, determined to finally put his mouth to a good use and arouse each nerve ending.

“Playing with…your food?” Take was surprised his voice wasn’t shaking, even as the ghoul’s tongue studs were toying with his slit.

No Face swallowed Hirako’s length once again, chuckling as the tip hit the back of his throat and its owner tensed up.

Dazed, Take fought to remain quiet and still. He managed to, until the other male massaged the underside of his sack and hummed around him. He let out a deep groan.

Pleased, the ghoul pinched Hirako’s nipples and raked his black nails across the Dove’s flesh. He hummed louder… sucked him _harder_.

Take hissed. Why did No Face have to be so good at it? He grabbed the ghoul’s head. His desperate fingers stumbled upon the band holding the mask in place.

“Uh-uh.” The soft warning vibrated throughout Take’s body.

It might actually be…a good idea to…to… _oh,_ _fuck!_ The Dove groaned. Yeah. He should just leave the mask alone, at least while No Face kept jamming Hirako’s cock down his throat.

Take’s hands tangled into uneven strands of hair. He held on as sensations ebbed and flowed. “Wa…wait!” he choked out while No Face swallowed around him again and again.

The ghoul pulled off just enough to gloat, “But you’re having so much fun…mm…look at you. I think I’ll change my mind and have a bite, after all. You taste so good, Hira.”

“Don’t even- ah!” Take shuddered when teeth were dragged across his veiny shaft.

“Just a small bite…here?” No Face sealed his full lips around the tulip-shaped head.

“No!”

“Ok…here, then?” The ghoul sucked on a testicle, then on its pair, as if they were the sweetest treats. “Left…right, or…?” He crammed both mounds into his mouth and tongued them gently.

“Fuck,” Take whispered. He thrust into the hand jacking him lazily.

“Mmm…can you spare one ball for me?”

“No.”

“How about…” No Face left a blooming line of hickeys down the investigator’s inner thigh. “Mmh…a juicy bit of muscle?” He nipped the reddened skin.

“I’ll…kill you.” The investigator pulled hard at No Face’s hair.

“Before or after you stop twitching in my hand like this?” The ghoul swiped his tongue from base to tip, placing a delicate kiss on the ridge. “Not knowing what’s going to happen next…a kiss…a bite…isn’t it exciting?”

Take shuddered. No Face might be a deviant, but the Dove was eager enough to keep up with him. Any more and he’d-

But No Face deepthroated him again and reason took a backseat. Fists full of black locks, he fucked the other’s face until bliss wracked him and the ghoul guzzled down his spurts.

“Mmm…that was fast. Thanks for the snack, first class. Dicks are simply the best.”

Take flopped on the pillows, breathless. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done. He shivered as No Face licked his oversensitive member clean and planted noisy kisses on it.

The best blow-job ever. And the last one, probably, if Hirako kept doing stupid things.

_Damn him and his skills._

“Done already, Take-chan?” The ghoul licked his own fingers a few times before adjusting his mask back into place, to Hirako’s regret.

The Dove admired the mess he’d made out of the other’s hair. No Face looked like a ruffled, half-bald chick.

“Well, at forty, it’s to be expected.”

Take regarded him blankly. “You did it on purpose.”

“Did I?” The ghoul feigned innocence. He seemed in no hurry to end their time together, though.

“I’m still not letting you fuck me,” Take grumbled. As tempting as it was, he wanted to be able to sit down sometime in the near future.

The promised good fuck was a one-time deal only. No Face might be so disappointed with his performance, he’d leave him alone for good, and it would all be over - a scenario which, surprisingly, had lost its appeal. If this was Take’s only chance…

He gathered his strength and pounced on the snickering ghoul, pinning him against the mattress.

“What are you up to, Hira?”

_What, indeed?_

The Dove stared down in wonder at the large, muscular body beneath his - a fantasy come true. _Too good to be true, actually._ The most beautiful form saddled with the most incurable personality. The gods sure liked a good laugh.

And since the investigator was doomed anyway, he might as well make the most of it.

His hand hovered inches above the other male’s chest, then settled on the sun tattoo - the only kind of sun No Face seemed to be getting. Take’s thoughts returned to the ghoul’s unfortunate “clients”. The shady business he was involved in must have required him to spend all his time indoors. Hirako still knew nothing about him, while the fucker was acquainted with his most intimate secrets.

The wild heartbeats under his palm brought him back. No Face’s heavy erection poked at his belly, giving the Dove enough confidence to lean down. He brought his lips to the foreign letters wrapped around the other’s neck.

Take inhaled deeply, savouring the clean, warm scent. Soothing. Vaguely spicy, with a hint of leather maybe? Definitely exciting. His own spent cock gave a twitch. He wished his sense of smell were on par with Ryuu’s, to properly appreciate No Face’s unique blend of scents.

The investigator pressed a tiny kiss to his throat. His tongue darted out and followed the curling words he’d promised himself to decode someday.

“Trying to make up for it?” the ghoul breathed out, running his fingers through Take’s short hair.

The Dove’s mouth travelled lower to greet the collarbones. The dark sun followed, along with the nipple it hid. He tweaked it, sucked on it, delighted by the hitch in No Face’s breath.

Hirako caressed the flesh around the nub and the designs on the ghoul’s arms. He took his time, making sure no ink mark remained untouched, untasted, before finally moving on to the circle of small crosses; the intricate shapes around the ghoul’s navel; and the rows of…what were those? They looked like golf balls and tees to him. _Another mystery._

Propped up on his elbows, No Face was drinking in his every move. Daring him to venture _lower_.

But how could Take justify it? Reciprocating? Making it worth his while?

_Yes. Just a bit._

To find out what the hot, slippery rod tasted like - what it’d feel like on his tongue. He wandered…

“First time seeing a ghoul cock? Should I take a picture for you?”

_Nevermind._

Take’s mouth veered left, kissing a hip bone instead.

“The landmark’s…over here,” No Face rasped. He tried to steer the Dove’s head towards his stiff cock.

Hirako ignored the invitation. He let his stubbly chin scrape the head of the ghoul’s cock, reveling in the small gasp he earned, then followed the tattoo trails down his thigh.

No Face spread his legs. “Payback, hmm?”

Take smirked against the other’s thigh. He curled a finger through one of the beaded rings adorning the ghoul’s sack, and pulled gingerly.

No Face moaned, asking for more with a jerk of his hips. The Dove grabbed a few more silvery circles and tugged harder.

“Ooh…you tease.”

Take’s fingers found the looped handle of the plug embedded into the ghoul’s core. He plucked at the warm metal, unable to resist.

“Mmmh…yes…”

Take pulled the plug halfway out, then pushed it back inside, shocked by its actual size - intoxicated with the temporary power he was holding over the unflappable No Face. He repeated the gesture slowly and purposefully, as if he knew exactly what he was doing.

“See how nice and easy it slides back in? Imagine…it could be your cock here, Take-chan.”

The investigator’s cheeks grew hotter despite all the blood being pumped to his member.

_Just a small taste_. _For science._

He lapped uncertainly at the ridged head, the frenulum beads smooth against his tongue. He teased them with quick flicks. Emboldened by the hitch in No Face’s breath, he fit his lips around the pierced organ.

The length pulsed in his mouth, alive. _Just like a human dick, except wetter._ He’d read a few stories on obscure forums. For some strange reason, ghouls were able to produce more…precum, or whatever the salty-sweet fluid coating Hirako’s tongue was. _We still have so much to learn about them._

Take sucked harder, the way he liked to be blown himself. He kept his mouth busy, afraid he might scream ‘Fuck me, right now!’. His own erection was back with a vengeance, and he started rutting against the ghoul’s leg.

As he kept working the plug in and out, past the delicate wrinkles, the Dove gripped No Face’s shaft with his free hand and pumped the bit he couldn’t fit into his mouth without gagging.

“That’s it…just a bit more…” the ghoul panted, bucking into his mouth.

Hirako pulled back at once and stopped stroking the other altogether, not without considerable regret.

“What…are you…?”

“I’m gonna make you tell me everything,” Take declared, picking up the condom box from the rumpled sheets.

“…oh, Hira.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another cliffhanger cause i love you all so much :D (srsly tho i had to split this chapter in 2, it was getting too long)


	10. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just this once.”  
> “Whatever floats your bubble, Take-chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise, more porn :p

Opening the condom box proved to be more difficult than anticipated - or rather Take’s hands were simply too slippery to provide an adequate grip and his nails too blunt to tear the pesky plastic film.

“Need any help?” No Face offered with mock concern.

All right, Take had been petty. And now his plan to spite the ghoul by pretending to thoroughly read the label had backfired into a genuine battle to reach the contents of the package.

Losing his patience, the Dove used his teeth to rip the damn thing open. Victorious, he extracted a condom from the cardboard remains. It was a short lived moment of glory, though.

“You’ve found yourself a mighty foe, first class.”

Hirako fought with the even tougher foil, his lack of practice painfully obvious, until No Face finally took mercy on him and plucked the tiny square out of his fumbling hands.

The ghoul opened it deftly, then pumped Take a few times to renew his arousal before rolling the thin sheath of latex on his hard length - careful to drag out the action more than necessary.

“There you go, sweetcheeks.”

Take glared at him. “Bend over.”

“Oh, Hira, you animal.”

The investigator sighed. He spread No Face’s legs and settled between his thighs.

“Missionary? How vanilla,” the ghoul sang out.

Take glanced down at Nagomi, exasperated.

“A threesome already? So bold tonight…”

“Shut up.” Take waded through the pale blue sheets and stood. He grabbed No Face’s legs and dragged him at the edge of the tall bed, determined to make good use of the massive piece of furniture.

“Well, I suppose we have to start somewhere,” the ghoul yielded. He lifted his knees, exposed his hole, and started toying with the silvery plug. “What are you waiting for, Hira-Hira?”

Take realized he’d been staring, fascinated. He swallowed and tried to gather his scattered thoughts. “Lube. Could you…?”

Ever helpful, No Face fished the small bottle and uncapped it. He poured a small amount of clear fluid on his own hands, rubbing his inked fingers together. “…smells strange. How old is this thing?”

_Who knows?_ It wasn’t like Hirako had that many opportunities to use it. “Be quiet already.”

“Anything for you, bunbuns.”

_Bunbuns?_ Take forgot about his complaints, though, as skilled hands began stroking him again, smearing the cool lubricant all over his member. He slicked up his own fingers, reached out for the ghoul’s plug and pulled. Gently. Hard. _Harder._

No Face chuckled, the sound husky and addictive. “Oops…looks like it’s stuck.”

“But earlier…” Take paused. “You’re doing it on purpose.”

“Nope. It’s like magic,” No Face declared. “The only way to open the…mm…gate of opportunities is to tell me how badly you want in.”

_There_ _’s no winning against you, huh?_

This was No Face, after all, more unpredictable and unreliable than the weather forecast. The most frustrating, exciting person the Dove had ever met. And somehow Take had been dragged into another vexing game. A dance of sorts. They made it up as they went along - no rules whatsoever, because the ghoul had a special affinity for chaos, and bringing it into other people’s lives.

Hirako sighed heavily. No Face wouldn’t give in just like that. Not yet, anyway. He wasn’t vulnerable enough. But if the investigator gained access to…‘the gate of opportunities’…

“I want it,” he mumbled.

No Face snickered. “Ah, that’s the spirit.” He allowed him to finally remove the plug.

Take weighed the metal toy in his hand. Heavy, intriguing. He should look into getting a smaller one for himself. He dropped it on the bed, and cautiously inserted a lubed up finger into the dusky opening.

“Aww, still so cautious,” No Face sighed.

Take added another digit, then a third one. Deemed him ready. Lined up…made no move to enter.

“Well?”

_A dance_. One misstep and Take would be letting this once in a lifetime opportunity slip through his clumsy, calloused fingers. Still, he had to be brave and try.

“I think it’s supposed to go the other way around,” he feigned self-assurance. “You want _this_?” He rubbed his tip around the ghoul’s wet hole. “Give me answers.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” No Face lamented. “But I like your assertive side.”

“About Little Mermaid…”

“Yes?”

“What do you know?”

“Hmm…she has a lovely voice.”

_It_ _’s…working?_ Take tried not to look relieved. “She?”

“Mhm.”

“So you really know her?”

“Many do. She’s quite popular.”

The Dove stilled. “Like a celebrity?”

“Oh, yeah,” No Face hummed, fingers breezing across Take’s chest.

“What does she look like?”

“Blue eyes, pretty red hair.”

_Clues, at last._ He was finally getting somewhere. “What else?”

“She loves seashells and man-made trinkets.”

“Seashells?”

“Yeah. They fit with the whole marine theme.”

“Is she a- ah!” The Dove scrunched his eyes shut as he was suddenly engulfed by hot, tight flesh.

“Your turn now, first class,” the ghoul purred, taking him deeper within.

No Face had tricked him again.

But this time Take didn’t mind. _Not one bit._ He exhaled slowly. _So good. So fucking good, damn him._

“Just this once,” he made it clear, grabbing the other male’s calves and holding them in the air. “This changes nothing.”

“Whatever floats your bubble, Take-chan.”

Hirako started rolling his hips - careful, experimental thrusts which allowed him to savour every lovely inch. He opened his eyes and stared down into his enemy’s - his _partner_ ’s - blown pupils.

He…was getting carried away. They were supposed to continue the “interrogation”. He took a few long, harsh breaths to clear his head. Reluctant, he pulled out of the molten heat, leaving just the head of his cock inside.

“Is she a foreigner?”

“You could say that.” No Face angled his hips, chasing Take’s shaft, aiming to suck it back inside.

The Dove drew back further. “Any accomplices?”

“The Crab is always by her side.”

“The Crab?” Take had never heard of such a ghoul. He pulled out. “Another foreigner?”

“Oh yeah…he’s from mainland.” No Face tweaked the investigator’s pebbled nipples. “Red and…grumpy.”

“Is…is that a riddle?

The other hummed, “Maybe.” He guided Take’s member to his entrance.

The Dove allowed it, as a reward. But when he tried to slip in again…

He missed. Twice. Thanks to No Face’s _help_.

“You’re a natural, first class.”

A groan replaced the half-formed curse on Hirako’s lips as he suddenly slipped back inside. Their bodies slotted together perfectly, just like in his dreams. And he’d dreamed of this, all right - the moment he’d catch No Face; the moment he’d _have_ his Beautiful Stranger. He’d just never imagined that the two would turn out to be one and the same. Or that the one caught would actually be himself.

The ghoul might be spread open under him, but he was still the one in charge, never missing a chance to wind Take up - to make him play straight into his skillful hands.

His thoughts regrouped enough for his mouth to fire the next question, “What’s she planning?”

“A surprise.”

“Too vague.” Hirako pulled out again.

“Discretion is very important in my line of work.”

“What do you do?”

“I run a small business.”

“What kind?”

“Taking care of my customers’ needs.”

More vagueness. “Who are you, anyway?”

“…just your local friendly ghoul.”

Of course. The Dove hadn’t really been expecting a clear answer. “What does she want?”

“Fuck, yeah!” No Face moaned when Take slammed back into the mind-numbing goodness of his body. “Looks like you’ll have to probe deeper for more clues.”

“What does…Mermaid want?”

“Ah…she’s just pining for her prince and…uh!…the only thing she can’t have.”

“…sounds like a fairytale.”

The ghoul shook with quiet amusement.

“Anything else?”

“She usually prefers textured, extra-large fantasy toys in ten to eight A firmness.”

“…what?”

“Mhm…But last time she commissioned an ultra-realistic, dual-density piece. It was a pain to obtain the positive. Expensive, too, but it worked out in the end and she was extremely satisfied with the result.”

“What on earth are you-”

No Face took advantage of the Dove’s confusion and increased the tempo abruptly.

Hirako gasped, rambling thoughts tangling up further.

The ghoul chuckled. “Getting distracted?”

“What…?” Take paused and gawked at him for a few long, embarrassing moments. He’d forgotten what he’d meant to ask. “Mermaid. Where can I find her?”

No Face looked like he was enjoying himself immensely, lids heavy with lust and languid eyes riveted on Take’s flushed face. “Oh, you know…”

“No, I don’t. That’s why…I’m asking you.”

“Tired already?”

Take knelt on the bed between the ghoul’s splayed thighs. “Where…is…Little…Mermaid?” he persisted, intoxicated with the fragile power he seemed to have over someone who could easily overpower him. Each word was accompanied by a rough thrust which made the loops chime.

“There…yes! You’re…ah…on the right track. Keep going, Take-chan!”

“I doubt it.” It seemed he’d found No Face’s prostate, at least - a discovery which he tried to exploit, carefully aiming his next thrusts. He almost regretted it, though, as the ghoul clamped down on him with a loud moan.

Take retreated again, dangerously close to coming undone. “ _Where_ is she?”

“Nngh! Ah…around the……harbour, I imagine. Don’t stop!”

This was definitely not a typical interrogation. The questioned party didn’t usually ask for more; didn’t buck like _that_ and let out all those shameless sounds to alert the neighbours that he was getting thoroughly fucked.

Take considered shushing him. But no _._ The fucker would only get rowdier. Besides, worrying about his reputation while burying himself balls deep into a man-eater…He held back a grin and draped the ghoul’s long legs over his own shoulders. “Who is she?”

“Who’s… _who_?” No Face drawled, unfocused. He started jacking himself off.

“Your grandma, you clown,” the investigator grumbled, transfixed by the motions of tattooed fingers across the pierced, rigid cock. And the best part - it was Take who was making him fall apart. Hirako almost came when he realized that someone as mundane as himself was capable of making No Face _beg_ and let out all those breathy moans.

“Hmm? Never met her. But…I’m sure she was…a fine old lady.” The ghoul pulled him closer. Deeper. “Ready to dip your…ah!…toes into gilf territory?”

“W-what…who’s Gilf?” The Dove struggled to remain coherent as No Face’s inner walls rippled around him in tune with the other’s snickering.

“That’s for you to find out…if you ever want to solve the case.”

Take dug his nails into the ghoul’s raised thighs. _I bet it_ _’s someone as fucked up as you._ “Where-”

“Do you like talking about other people while drilling someone’s ass?” No Face hissed when Take drew out suddenly before plunging back in. “Such dedication. I could put in a good word…get you promoted.”

“Don’t,” the Dove groaned. It was highly unlikely he’d get any more details. He’d run out of questions, anyway. And against all odds, he’d learnt quite a few things. Maybe that counted as a victory, as winning this round, and he should celebrate. But maybe it wasn’t about winning anymore. Not this time, when they were both entangled in this carnal dance.

“That’s all you got, first class?”

_Hardly._

Take sped up, pounding him. There were things he should probably be considering. Like morality…and…uh… _whatever._ Abstract concepts couldn’t hold a candle to the sublime grip of No Face’s body - hotter than any human Take had ever been with, far more intoxicating.

No Face hummed in delight, his metal loops jingling wildly. Eyes shut, for once. Enthralled and utterly distracted…

_My chance_.

Panting, Take leaned forward. He grabbed the beak and wrenched the mask off, flinging it into a distant corner of the room. Finally, finally, he was going to see…to know-

He froze, horrified.

Bent double beneath him, Arima was regarding him blankly through his trademark pair of glasses.

“Did I tell you to stand by, Take?”

He was expecting to wake up. _Any moment now._ It was just like one of those nightmares where things stopped making sense as soon as they started getting exciting - a nightmare where Kishou Arima had uneven black hair, piercings, and more tattoos than the yakuza.

“No kiss?” The Arima look-alike demanded coldly.

Hirako had just wanted to get off, not sign up for this…whatever the fuck it was. _Madness_. He couldn’t even scramble away, _dammit_ , locked in place by the ankles twined behind his neck.

“Don’t go soft on me. We’re not done here.”

Nails dug into his ass cheeks, urging him to resume their coupling. Brazen peals of laughter sent shocks to his reawakening erection as ‘Arima’ clenched around him. Take shuddered, mind as mushy as canned peaches, all objections obliterated. His hips jerked forward. In the end, it didn’t matter what deranged pranks No Face was pulling on him - the joy of having textured flesh crowd his cock from all sides prevailed, and the Dove just couldn’t get enough of it.

Gray eyes flared up, bottomless black and violent red which set the remains of his sanity ablaze. And for the briefest of seconds, Take’s wish came true: he glimpsed a young, handsome face. A cheeky grin. A beaded tongue sticking out at him.

A flash filled his world.

A radiant ribbon covered his eyes. A tug had him toppling into the ghoul’s embrace, face pressed into the crook of his neck and nostrils filling with his scent. Arms and legs secured their bond, raspy words dripped into his ear, “I told you not to peek.”

Take reached automatically for the glowing blindfold and pulled…

“Oh? Missing Arima-san already?”

Hirako’s fingers faltered around the thick stripe of pulsing tissue. Where did he even get all those masks, anyway?

“Or maybe you want to look deep into my eyes as we make sweet, sweet love?” No Face cooed, nibbling at Take’s cheek.

The Dove burst into laughter.

“And here’s my prize. Mm…Can I record that?” The ghoul asked, licking the shell of his ear. He squeezed him so tightly Take could barely thrust anymore. It felt as though he intended to melt the man and make him a permanent part of himself.

Hirako exhaled sharply. His few working brain cells managed to somehow convince him that it was better to stop the tendril from snaking away than facing the other again. Sure, kagune equaled danger. It was the first thing they drilled into future ghoul investigators. But this one…Take had never had the opportunity to leisurely explore such an appendage - never would again, probably. It somehow reminded him of No Face’s cock, throbbing with a heartbeat of its own. Scorching, slippery. No scales, no deadly thorns.

No skull-crushing pressure.

Handling it felt more intimate, more obscene than sucking No Face off…or even fucking him. Strangely erotic, instead of repulsive. Its comforting glow lit up the darkness behind Take’s eyelids, driving away his doubts.

No Face hummed, “Yeah. Make friends with it.”

The Dove stroked the tendril shyly. Just how sensitive was it? Another mysterious part of this nutjob, subject to his twisted imagination.

“It can do plenty more tricks,” No Face drawled.

“No thanks.”

“Some other time, then? Now how about you give me what I deserve and…punish me real good?”

“You’re one crazy fucker,” Take decided, referring mostly to himself and his own morbid curiosity.

“Crazy about you, baby,” No Face moaned theatrically. He raked his fingers through the Dove’s short, damp hair, grazing his scalp.

Take let him guide his head so that a nimble tongue could gain access to his mouth, finally, _finally!_ It was ridiculous how much he’d missed kissing No Face. This time the ghoul tasted like Hirako’s seed. The investigator groaned, excited, and pumped his hips faster, smothering the other male’s leaking shaft between their writhing bodies.

His dream lover.

His worst enemy.

_If only our rapture could last forever._

“Take-chan…yes! Yes! More!” No Face bucked. “Don’t hold back. Give me the pounding I’ve earned!”

So the Dove gave his best, his movements much rougher than they’d ever been with a human partner, spurred on by the lewd soundtrack which kept growing louder with each liberating thrust. Flesh slapping wetly against flesh, breathless groans, loops chiming in tune with the vigorous penetration.

“Filling me up…so good…so fucking hard for me…nngh!” the ghoul panted. “You’ve been…dying to wreck me all this time.”

“…yeah.” Nails left stinging paths down Take’s sweaty back and flexing buttocks. He hissed, ramming him harder still. Savage and reckless, rushing towards an explosive release.

“Is my little hole too much for you?”

Take merely gasped. He had no words to describe the raw bliss searing him. He wanted to ask if dragging him to bed had been No Face’s goal all along, or just a funny idea he’d got along the way.

Blindly, his lips and fingers sought to learn the shape of the ghoul’s face. Their mouths found each other and clashed once more.

No Face sucked hungrily on the Dove’s tongue, then sank his teeth into Take’s bruised lower lip. The grip of his strong thighs became crushing, predatory, reminding Hirako who he was playing with.

“Easy,” the investigator exhaled, cradling the ghoul’s head with sticky palms.

No Face relaxed his hold. “Oops.”

Take could move freely again, but only for a moment. No Face flipped him over like a crumbling, disoriented piece of senbei before straddling him. He started rocking slowly above the Dove, making sure to grind down against his stiff cock.

Pride an overrated asset, Hirako bucked up. He had to. It felt like his very life depended on burrowing back into the ghoul’s insane heat.

“What’s the matter, first class? Don’t you like it nice and slow?”

No Face planted his palms on the investigator’s heaving chest to hold him down, unseen claws leaving marks to match those on the man’s backside.

“Uh-uh…We wouldn’t want the fun to be over too soon.”

The Dove could only grit his teeth as all attempts to reclaim the greedy hole failed.

“You want back inside me so..so badly, Take-chan? What happened to your hard-to-get act?”

The merciless teasing went on, Take’s aching erection rubbing against the ghoul’s cleft. Frustrated, he gripped No Face’s toned ass cheeks and squeezed them harshly. The Dove’s hands then strayed upward, stumbled upon the root of the kagune tendril…

The ghoul arched above him with a hoarse cry, hips shifting sharply.

Hirako almost burst. He forced himself to breathe and focus on… _Bad Boy! Shimoguchi_ _’s lips. Kureo Mado - dammit, not the-_

He grabbed No Face’s hips to tame their seductive rolling.

“It wouldn’t hurt if you were a little more vocal, first class.”

Panting, Take realized his cock was inches away from its target. If he tilted his hips just a little more…if only he could see what he was doing…

He felt his tip slipping past the puckered flesh. “Yes…oh!”

“What’s that, sunshine?”

The Dove groaned when the delicious sensations ceased and No Face retreated.

“Should you be so desperate to stuff a ghoul’s ass? I can’t help but…ah…wonder what your subordinates have to say about this. Shall we send them a pic and ask them?”

Take thought he heard the telltale click of a phone snapping a photo. “What are you…Ah! Yes!” The mind-melting heat was upon him again, sucking his member deep within and drowning all his worries.

“Don’t mind me, I’m just…uh…trying to liven things up,” No Face purred as he rode him steadily. “It gets lonely when you’re so quiet.” More clicks followed. “Ugh. Such a shitty camera. You need to…keep up with modern technology.”

The words made no sense. Take managed to open his left eye, but all he could see was the fiery shimmer of his makeshift blindfold - half the reason he was once again hurtling towards the edge.

He squirmed, desperate to reach further into No Face’s core.

“Maybe we should give them a call,” the ghoul murmured. “So many choices…Let’s see, we’ve got Ui-san’s number here…Kuramocchan…Shinohara-san and Suzu- …nnhg!” No Face hissed when the Dove pulled him down onto his cock. “Aww, Hira, you’re playing dirty - I like that.”

Take tried to drag it out. He was long past the point where he could process anything other than the pulse thundering in his ears and the maddening tightness crashing down on his leaking cock. “Yes…yes…”

“…and then there’s Arima-san, of course…Too bad he’s not picking up. So, who else should we call?”

To Take’s dismay, No Face pulled back. The investigator became slightly more aware of the ghoul’s monologue. “…what?”

“The fuckfest we’ve just agreed to. Which of the Doves is more talkative in bed?”

Hirako choked. “…how should I know?”

No Face paused. “You mean you’ve never screwed any of them?”

“Why would I?”

“Letting that perfect CCG sausage fest go to waste…I’m gonna hook you up right-”

Take located the ghoul’s jingling balls and gave a warning squeeze.

No Face shuddered. “Ooh…yeah!”

Take’s protests turned into an appreciative grunt as the ghoul impaled himself once more on his stiff rod.

Down.

Up. Slowly. _Fucking tease._

Down, balls deep. Lingering, undulating.

Up again. Hard.

Down. _Harder._

“Should I let you cum again so easily? I allowed it earlier only because…mmh…I wanted to taste your jizz.”

Hirako clung to him - to the low, husky voice guiding him through the euphoric haze, to the organic brilliance behind his sealed eyelids.

Pure. Depraved. Relentless.

_So worth it._

No matter what happened next. Even if No Face decided to pull a praying mantis act on him. There were far worse ways to die than fulfilling a fantasy.

Elated, Hirako took hold of the ghoul’s pierced member. He began pumping it sloppily, determined to feel the other climax around him before he lost it himself.

A flood of incoherent obscenities spilled past No Face’s lips. He sank down faster, ass cheeks slapping against the Dove’s taut sac with every downward motion.

“No…No F- fuck!”

The ghoul halted. “No?”

“No Face…” Take gasped, tingling, all senses alight. “Keep going.”

“Oh…call me Uta.” No Face chuckled, resuming his enthusiastic riding. “Nice to… _meet_ you…Take.”

Uta - ‘Song’. A song forever stuck in his head. And the ghoul just had to introduce himself right when he had Hirako’s dick all the way up his ass.

“Perfect timing… _snookums._ _”_

“Mm…I love it when you laugh.” The ghoul dived for an aggressive kiss.

Take welcomed the intrusion and stroked him faster. No Face suddenly growled against his mouth, a hot spray hitting the investigator’s flushed chest and chin. Inner walls clenched rhythmically around his cock, driving him over the edge as the tide of endorphins swept them both away.

Still twitching, No Face sprawled heavily over Take and wrapped his arms around his neck, holding him tightly in their afterglow. The Dove caressed his back, comfortable despite the other’s weight. A layer of sweat and seed bound their bodies together. Their lips locked again when their breathing evened, this time for whisper-light, lazy kisses.

Just when Take was starting to wonder ‘Now what?’, No Face - _Uta_ \- rolled over. The tendril vanished and Hirako was finally able to open his eyes properly. He gathered up his courage for one final question, “Why the eyebrow?” It still had a long way before it grew back.

“I couldn’t have you overworking yourself to death,” Uta admitted.

Hirako thought he saw the corners of those black and red eyes crease. He couldn’t be sure, though, not with the avian mask back in place. He gave Uta the blankest stare he could muster while wiping traces of kagune fluids and ghoul cum off his face with a rumpled corner of the bedsheets. _Ah._ That certainly was a unique way of looking after people.

“All spent, huh?” Uta peeled the used condom off the investigator, pulled his mask to the side a little and cleaned Take’s softening, hypersensitive member with a few tongue swipes. He tipped the contents of the latex sheath into his mouth, humming. “Still tasty, even with the rubber stench.”

The image of Uta drinking the last drops of his cum would feature prominently in Take’s future wet dreams, much like the rest of this night.

The ghoul slid out of bed and stretched seductively. “I’m hungry.”

_Ah. The dreaded words._ Hirako braced himself for the worst, but the other male merely padded out of the bedroom in all his nude glory. He heard him praise Ryuu somewhere in the living room and, distantly, the fridge door open and close several times. The clang of metal followed, then silence.

The Dove decided he could relax for the time being - there wasn’t much else he could do, anyway. Uta had fully drained him.

Moments later, No Face reappeared with Ryuu in tow, both munching something, apparently. He set the food he was carrying on the nightstand while the dog jumped on the bed and cuddled next to his exhausted owner. Good thing Take had walked him before their baking adventure.

“Round two?”

“…can’t move.” Take barely had enough strength to push away the shiba inu sniffing his neck.

“Ah. Next time, then.” No Face picked up a crooked piece of senbei. “Should I feed you?”

The investigator eyed the bowl full of his shapeless creations and the jar of… _Natto, again?_ A rice cracker was rapidly approaching his mouth, and his own hunger made it look particularly appealing.

He sighed and dodged, allowing Ryuu to snatch the offering from inked fingers.

Uta shrugged. He crouched over Take to plant one last, tender kiss on his lips, before collecting his plug. He spun the looped handle around his index finger. “How about a souvenir?”

_As if it_ _’d fit._ Take shook his head. Amazed, he watched Uta reinsert the metal toy into his well-trained hole. When the Dove’s phone rang a moment later, clothes were already covering the tattooed expanse of the ghoul’s body.

“I’ll get that for you, sweetcheeks.” No Face was answering before Take could even contemplate reaching for the noisy device.

“Hello, hello!…No, I’m a friend of his. Take-chan is…aah…unavailable at the moment,” Uta chirped, his voice comically high-pitched. “By the way, are you interested in a gay orgy?…Too busy? Pity.” The ghoul paused to address Take in his usual drawl. “Arima-san needs your credit card number for tonight’s guild event.”

Hirako groaned, face half-buried in Ryuu’s soft fur. “Not again.” No Face chatting casually with Arima? _Sure, why not?_

“He says the event ends in two hours, and it’s an order.”

“No.”

“Sorry, Arima-san, he can’t find it.” Uta extracted a colourful pile of rectangles from a coat pocket. “But Marude-san…Matsuri-san and…Shinohara-san are more than happy to help you.”

Take watched in horrified fascination as the other read out the strings of numbers. They should add ‘credit card theft’ and ‘fraud’ to the growing list of No Face’s crimes. Briefly, he considered interfering for the sake of his superiors’ budgets. But he was too sleepy, and mired in too deep.

“…and the password for Matsuri-san’s card is ‘Urie good boy’…Don’t worry, they say you don’t need to pay them back. No problem.” The ghoul set Take’s phone back on the nightstand. “See, Hira? All done, no need to worry.”

With that Uta opened the bedroom window. “By the way, you should watch the movie.” He straddled the sill. “And maybe think of pine tree seedlings. See you soon.” He hopped out into the night.

_What movie? What do trees have to do with anything? And what_ _’s wrong with using the door, like normal people?_

Take sank further into the pillows. He traced the bite marks and hickeys on his inner thigh with a drowsy smile.

_Later._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~this fic seems like an excuse to write utake porn~~  
>  \------  
> Omake 
> 
> *ring-ring-ring*  
> Kuramoto: Hello?  
> Take: We have a lead.  
> Kuramoto: Take-san…:yawn:..it’s 2 a.m.  
> Take: We need to find Gilf.  
> Kuramoto: O_O  
> Kuramoto: Eh…Take-san…  
> Take: Also, we’ll set up a stakeout at the harbour first thing in the morning.  
> Kuramoto: Dunno how to say this, but…:sweats:...have you, by any chance, started smoking some weird shit?  
> Take: -_-  
> Take:…  
> Take:…  
> Take: I got an anonymous tip tonight.  
> Kuramoto: Ah. That explains everything.  
> Kuramoto:...wait, what?!
> 
> \------
> 
> thanks for reading and all your lovely comments! <3


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